Smallville
Hug

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Shake, Shake, Shake!

The Beanery. Loud, expectedly crappy alt-rock music. Clark sits down across from Lana, who looks pretty healthy considering her concussion. She says she's okay and asks whether Clark is going to talk to the police. Clark, who is wearing tons of pink eyeshadow, says he spoke to Kyle instead. "You talked to that psycho?" we hear, and it's our favorite Aryan ideal, Jocko Whitney. Clark relays the Kyle conversation for Lana and Jocko. Jocko is, of course, as skeptical as if you'd told him that Metallica somehow doesn't rule. Jocko -- who is drinking coffee out of the biggest, froofiest white mug I've ever seen -- tells Clark that if he had gone to see Kyle, he would have "done something." Believe me, I'm sure Kyle Radley of the Gayest Look of the Episode would have welcomed it. Uncomfortable silence. Clark asks Lana if she remembers anything about the horse day. She doesn't. Clark says he has to get home. He says he's glad she's okay. She smiles. Jocko gives Clark a dirty look.

Clark gets up and who should be right there to meet him, but his favorite coffee "buddy," Lex Luthor. Lex says, "Well, that looked uncomfortable." Lex fills Clark in about Young Chris Isaak's move to buy the Kent farm, and how if that happened, Clark's family would be forever blue. At least until graduation day. Clark is skeptical that his dad would ever sell the farm. Lex warns that Young Chris Isaak is charismatic and dangerous. It's the Lex calling the Isaak...um, FABulous, I guess. Clark agrees, after a long look, to beware of the YCI.

YCI's office. Kyle Radley has shown up, just as YCI is downing a big glass of liquor. Is that all he does all day at work -- just downs bourbon? Kyle is mad because they had agreed that YCI could have the rest of the world, but was to leave Smallville alone. YCI says that it was a long time ago, and things have changed. Oh, Young Chris Isaak. You've changed your mind. Yawn. This is, again, a little boring. For once, I'm wishing somebody were starting fires with their mind or sucking the fat out of someone else on this show. Kyle threatens to expose YCI to the media. YCI has a great defense for that: you know, that whole mind-control thing. YCI says that he's been honing his skill for the past nine years while Kyle hid in the woods. "Well, take my hand," Kyle offers. Kyle has a certain Michael Biehn quality. YCI's hand is goin' nowhere. "You've been warned," Kyle says, and walks out of the office.

Jocko gets up, smiling in his letterman jacket, and exits The Beanery. Rock music is playing, but according to the closed captioning, it's supposed to be Nelly Furtado's "Turn Off the Lights." For once, I'm glad it's the crappy alt-rock. Jocko sees Clark and Kyle run into each other on the street. Clark asks what he's doing there. "Just registering a complaint," Kyle says. One thing: if Clark was coming from The Beanery, why is he across the street and walking from a different direction? Is he going window shopping in the town square or something in the middle of the night? Jocko looks mad, and he walks over. Clark is asking Kyle what's up, and Kyle tells him, in a very nice and charming way, to mind his own business. Jocko comes up and starts some static with Kyle. "And what's your problem?" Kyle asks. Kyle is like your cool uncle who always says the right thing at the right moment. Jocko threatens to mess Kyle up real good if he does anything to Lana again. "I've got my eye on you," Jocko says. Again, I'm sure Kyle appreciates that. Jocko walks off. Clark offers Kyle a ride home. "Why are you being so nice to me?" Kyle asks. Why, indeed. Clark says he thinks Kyle is good, just not a people person. Kyle says he has to stop and get groceries. "No problem," Clark says. Ooh, shopping together! Doesn't Clark have, like, chores or something to do? When was the last time he tossed a bale of hay in this beeyatch?

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