Smallville
Hug

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Shake, Shake, Shake!

Oh, man. Somebody call David Fincher and sue this crap. We go into Bo Duke's right blue eye and into his cerebral cortex or wherever it is his torrid affair with Daisy Duke is stored. Lightning. Synapses. Seen it. Own the DVD. Green-glowing cerebellum. We back out of his other eye, which is now tinted green. It's still just a handshake, no matter how much CGI you throw at it. Bo, with his big-ass wrinkles, is hypnotized. Young Chris Isaak asks if Bo's sure he won't change his mind. Ooh, you're bad, YCI. It's wrong to love you.

Inside the Kent kitchen. Bo Duke has signed the farm away. MamaKent is pissed, asking how he could do it without telling her first. She's not as hysterical as you'd expect, though. Maybe she secretly wants to live in a condo. Clark walks in during this one-sided fight. He gets told what happened. "What? How?" he asks. Bo Duke looks guilty as all get-out. Somebody's crying. And I think it's Bo. "Oh, please return to me," he thinks of Kent Farm. Bo says he doesn't remember what happened. MamaKent says she already called their lawyer (she's the go-to phone person, remember?) and was told "The Devil made me do it" defense won't hold up in court. How about the "My name is O.J. and I didn't do it" defense? Clark asks how it happened. Bo tries to remember, but he only knows there was a discussion, a handshake, and a signed contract. Clark says he knows someone who can help. Bo balks at asking Lex Luthor for help. MamaKent puts the smack down. She says Bo is out of options. Bo rubs his eye, the one with all the synapses. He is a broken, broken man.

The Beanery, again. Clark walks by Lana and Jocko, who are talking intimately; they give him a cold glance. Clark walks on with two cups of coffee in plain white mugs. "Ouch," Lex says, and asks what that was all about. Clark explains. Lex says, out of nowhere, "So, you're Atticus?" Clark is blank. "Atticus Finch. To Kill a Mockingbird," he says. Clark must be one illiterate fool not to have read that book. Lex says Clark should read it and that Clark and Atticus are both small-town heroes who believe in the truth. I see Clark as more the Scout type. Clark asks how it ends. "It's not about the ending. It's about the journey." Ah, I see Lex didn't finish it, either. How hard is it to say, "Boo Radley turns out not to be so bad after all"? Clark glances back at Jocko and Lana. "What kills me is I know that I'm right," he says. Clark, get used to that feeling if you plan to work for a newspaper someday. Lex says the key to leadership is not only knowing you're right, but convincing everyone else. Clark moans about the family farm. Lex says the good news is that they got three times market value for the farm. The bad news is that the contract is iron-clad. That must have cost a lot at Kinko's. Lex says it's going to take a lot of lawyers, but luckily, he's got an army of them. Lex and Clark exchange girlish, smiling glances. Lex and Clark wonder what YCI said to get Bo to convince him to sell the farm. Maybe it was "I'm going to tell people about Honey, I'm Pregnant Too! A Pregnancy Guide for Men (1999)." Lex is mad that this guy bought the farm when Lex's overtures were turned down. Lex asks whether Clark thinks there's something more to this than mere persuasiveness on Young Chris Isaak's part. Clark suddenly gets up and announces that he's going to jail. He doesn't mention whether he plans to collect $200 on his way.

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Smallville

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