Smallville
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Dirty Pool

Kent barn. Lois shows up, saying that she got Clark's emergency call. She asks what's up. Clark says he's decided that her Oliver theory isn't so crazy, and that if it's true, she deserves to know the truth. Lois says she's been thinking about it on her own, and that maybe she doesn't want to know. Maybe she just got off on the wrong foot with Green Arrow, and the whole "rob from the rich, give to the poor" thing must win him some points. Clark asks if she's feeling all right. Lois says no; she thinks she's in love with Oliver. She says she doesn't know how Clark let Lana go if he felt like this, because she'd be willing to accept Oliver even if he was from another planet and would chalk it up to an endearing quirk. Good to know. Clark aptly compares Lois to a pit bull on a pant leg, and says she's never going to let this go until she knows the truth. "I hate that you know me like that," grouses Lois. Clark half-smiles. Lois says she can't just "pull a Lois" and ambush him: "What if I'm wrong?" Clark says that there may be a way not to confront Oliver.

Oliver's tower at night. Lois has a few rented videos as Oliver is making drinks. Apparently, they're throwing some kind of party. Clark arrives as the first guest. He's carrying a big bag of rancho popcorn in a clear plastic sack. Clark thanks Oliver for having him over. He notices that there are no snacks and sarcastically says she went all out. Lois says it's not a party without... "Oh no," she says. She forgot the ice. Doesn't Oliver have an ice maker in his million-dollar pad? Lois says that you can't have cocktails without ice. "Don't worry. Yours will be virgin," she tells Clark. Oliver starts to go, but Lois rushes to the elevator and says she'll get it. "Think she suspects anything?" Oliver asks after Lois has gone. Clark says she's preoccupied. Oliver says that it's showtime. Oh no. That's usually code for "Big, dumb idea, possibly involving similarly large and dumb alien." Oliver uses the remote to open up his big, green, gay closet. You don't even need to give Clark an invitation to get him in there. Clark eyes the closet. Oh, the sweet secrets of the warm, embracing closet! It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. Both Clark and Oliver hope Lois is gone for a long time.

Lois, carrying a bag of ice, walks down the street while talking on her cell. She's faking distress, saying that ten guys are following her down an alley. I hope Oliver has already been able to figure out when Lois is faking. Lois bangs her cell phone on a Dumpster (again with Lois and a Dumpster; are the writers trying to tell us something?) and calls for help. She accidentally breaks her cell phone. "Good one, Lois," she tells herself. Just then, some actual street toughs emerge. "Need some help?" one of them asks. They're after her ice! Someone falls down on one of the guys. Lois hits another guy with her big bag of ice. Ice flies everywhere. They didn't actually do anything yet, ya know. They might have actually been trying to help. The guy who jumped down turns out to be Jimmy. He wrestles with one of the (presumed) criminals, punching the guy and hurting his hand. He complains to Lois that he didn't know there were going to be real thugs. Lois says that they made an impromptu appearance. The dudes get up and grab both Lois and Jimmy. One of them socks Jimmy in the mouth. A whole other person lands on top of a Dumpster. It's Green Arrow! Sorta! "Let her go!" yells Green Arrow in his low electronic voice. He jumps down and starts some static. Throws one criminal into a sign. Clumsily grabs an arrow and aims it at the others. They run away. He helps Lois up. Jimmy grabs his camera. Lois says, "Your secret's safe with me, Oliver." She kisses him. Jimmy snaps some photos. Lois realizes mid-kiss that it's not Oliver. Because Oliver is standing right behind her. Lois slaps "Green Arrow." (Who is actually Clark in disguise.) Lois smiles at Oliver. "Green Arrow/Clark" whooshes out. Jimmy snaps some photos. "Did you just call him 'Oliver'?" Oliver asks. Lois says that it was just a hunch. On the corner, Clark takes off the corny sunglasses and hood. Revealed! He smiles, loving the feel of another man's leather.

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Smallville

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