Smallville
Hypnotic

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Kent kitchen. HypnoHo, with her sneery face, is sizing up the joint. She seems to think it's quaint, especially when Clark serves her up a slice of MamaKent's apple pie. He stops short of swearing that he hasn't fucked it, and says his mom just made it. Good senatorial work, that. HypnoHo tries it and says it's delicious. She says that all she needs now is a glass of champagne. She doesn't suppose Clark has that hidden around there somewhere. Clark zips out of the room, sending papers flying as he goes. HypnoHo gets up and looks around, calling Clark's name. About ten seconds later, we hear chimes, and then the whoosh of Clark returning. He's holding a bottle of champagne with gold foil wrap. Very classy, Clark. (By the way, I just learned from Anne Lamott today that the wire thing on champagne is actually called the "wire hood.") HypnoHo asks where Clark got the bottle. "Howe's liquor store in Metropolis," he tells her. "Metropolis, how?" she asks. No, Howe's. Clark says he can run really fast. From commitment. HypnoHo playfully asks what would happen if she asked for chocolate-covered strawberries. Clark zips out. She waits. He zips in about eight seconds later, and she squeals as he suddenly appears. "Here you go," he says. He hands her a red rose and a plastic box of the strawberries. "You are too good to be true," she says. If only she knew. "I think it's time you told your girlfriend about us," she tells Clark. Clark's face grows serious. She tells Clark to call Lana and ask her to come over. Clark thinks about it. Yes, that is a good idea! He smiles like a goof.

Metropolis. I can never tell if that's the dorm building or not, especially at night. Turns out this time that it is, but I wouldn't have been able to tell just by looking at it. Did this dorm room grow? At the very least, I think they raised the ceiling. Chloe is not believing what Lois is telling her about Clark and his new skank. Couldn't Lois have gotten a ride to Metropolis from Lana? What's with all the commuting, people? Simplify! Lois tells Chloe that it was "last tango at the Talon," and that she had front-row seats. Chloe thinks for a second. She's sure something must have happened to Clark. An erection, maybe. Chloe says that Clark wouldn't just do this. Lois patronizes Chloe by telling her that she knows Chloe has a hero-worship thing going on when it comes to Clark, but that he's just this guy, you know? "His brain -- it's not his commanding officer," Lois says. We all know that's true, but not because of this incident. Chloe insists that Clark is different from other dudes, and that he wouldn't do this to Lana. Lois thinks they should warn Lana. Chloe insists that Lois keep it to herself for now until she can check up on this.

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Smallville

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