Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B | Grade It Now!
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It's Hard to Fly With Heavy Hands

Lois flashes back to the present. She reads the rest of the note: "For the big day, here's something borrowed. I'm there in spirit. Love, Chloe." She's not trying very hard to pretend to be dead. "I don't know how you do it, Chloe," Lois says. "It's like you can see the future." And yet, she uses her powers for... this. The "something borrowed" are two necklaces with some kind of silver medallions. As Lois is looking over them, Cat Grant comes into the office, mewling about how people are complaining too much about the new security measures. Her voice... the frequency... I feel like my eardrums are being microwaved every time she talks. She zeros in on Lois's ring and chirps, "Oh my, God, Lois Lane, are you expecting?!" Lois just as cheerfully threatens to punch Cat in the face if she spreads that rumor. Do it, Cat! Do it! The annoying clown music plays. Everything about this scene is an aural assault. Cat simpers about how her own "storybook romance" didn't have such a happy ending, but then immediately perks up again because Lois will have more time to be domestic now that she doesn't have any heroes to write about. Lois looks like she wants to make good on that punch to the face, but Tess interrupts and sends Cat away. "The VRA is not the only one increasing security," Tess says to Lois in a hushed voice. "I'm reprogramming Watchtower's retina scan tonight and you're up at nine." Lois looks vaguely suspicious.

Nonetheless, she shows up at the designated time, as does Clark. They're surprised to see each other there at the same time and think Tess must have made a mistake. It's all just a silly pretext to get them there for a surprise engagement party. Carter Hall, Courtney Whitmore (Stargirl) and Emil are in attendance, along with Tess and Oliver. "Surprise!" Clark and Lois grin and look appropriately surprised. There's a big silver cake that looks about as appetizing as a foil-wrapped cinder block. Later, as the party progresses, Lois is off talking with the other gals, telling them about the proposal. Oliver offers Clark his congratulations and moral support for committing himself to a "lifetime of Lois Lane." A chill just went down my spine. Oliver then apologizes because he thinks he shouldn't go to the wedding, now that the government's after him for blowing up one of their facilities. So after he got free, he didn't immediately go to the media and blab about being held prisoner in an evil government plot? These people suck at being proactive. Anyway, Clark wants Oliver to be his best man: "You're the guy who stands next to me on the worst days of my life; I want you there for the best one, too." Aw. His proposal to Oliver was a lot more skillfully worded than his proposal to Lois. Oliver is touched, too, and eagerly agrees. Carter joins them, with the sage advice of letting Lois do whatever she wants where the wedding is concerned. The clowny music starts up again as Emil and Oliver joke about Carter marrying Shayera a hundred times. It's... not really a clown-appropriate situation.

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Smallville

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