Opening credits. Commercials. The T-Mobile G1 phone. It's searchy!
Daily Planet, daytime. Clark, wearing a white shirt and tie (but no top button latched. Thick neck, much?) is looking extremely worried. He takes a deep breath before stepping into Jimmy's work area. "Hey, Jimmy," he says, trying to sound casual. Jimmy is excited to see him. At least it gets him away from that radiation-emitting 15-inch CRT monitor. Seriously. Give the photographer a decent LCD monitor, won't you? Jimmy apparently called Clark about some urgent news. Jimmy wants to show Clark a picture that he says will change his life. "You may want to sit down," he advises. Jimmy puts a giant print on a light table. It's a picture of an anus. If you like it, it means something. Clark decides, with resignation, that he'd rather stand. The photo shows the vehicle that was about to hit Lois, as well as a blue and red streak saving her. The red streak looks a bit like a cape. The camera zooms in on Clark as his face goes, "Oh shit!" Clark steps forward to take a closer look at the photo. He asks what he's looking at. "It's a person!" Jimmy says. We see Lois falling backward. You call that a person? It looks like she's being carried by the ghost of some sort of gay flamingo. Clark acts like all he sees is some blur. Jimmy says the person is moving so fast, they're out of focus. Nice top-of-the-line camera equipment, there. Clark says it looks more like a reflection off the lens. He wonders if a police car with red and blue lights might have been driving by. Jimmy asks if a police car wouldn't have stopped if they'd seen a robbery in progress. Not if they were hauling ass and missed it. Clark tries to explain that a person can't move so fast, so this isn't possible. Jimmy reminds Clark about the previous seven seasons' worth of freaky shit that's been going down. Did you forget, Clark? Clark asks why Lois hasn't said anything about it since she's the one who got saved. Jimmy says he doesn't think that's weird since Lois is a naysayer and a nonbeliever. She's like Scully without the brain. Jimmy says Lois is convinced her lightning-fast reflexes saved the day. Idiot. Jeez. "So this blur saved Lois from becoming roadkill and she didn't feel a thing?" Clark asks, playing Mr. Skeptical. Jimmy thinks it's proof of how good this hero might be. He thinks it has "Front page" written all over it. In a large, red, blurry font. Clark doesn't think that Tess will want to publish an out-of-focus photograph. It really bothers me that all the people in charge of the paper now besides Jimmy have about three months of collective job experience. Clark doesn't think Jimmy should even bother Tess with this. Jimmy says he already showed it to her and she was very interested. Tess even agreed, Jimmy says, to let Clark write the copy. Clark acts all offended that nobody asked him first. Welcome to journalism! Jimmy tells Clark that he's doing him a favor. This is a huge opportunity. Jimmy says that he's tired of living in Lois's shadow, as he's sure Clark is as well. Jimmy says it's been happening since he landed at The Planet, only he's been there longer than Lois. God, I hate revisionist history. Suddenly, Lois isn't just the ace reporter, she's not been there for years and years and has institutional memory. What the fuck ever, show. Clark feigns indignation for being involved with some make-believe story. Clark's gotten to be a pretty good liar. Years and years of practice. Jimmy asks Clark to just think about it and to keep it on the down-low. He says if Lois hears about it, she'll be on it like a pit bull to a poodle. Ew. Like... fucking the poodle? That does sound like Lois. "Don't worry," Clark says, like he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, "I won't tell a soul." Lucky for Lois, she doesn't have one.