Smallville

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Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Unlucky Streak

Ah, speaking of the soulless one: Lois is speaking on a phone in the newsroom. She's trying to find out why the police let a violent criminal go free, even though he really only got a chance to inflict a tiny bit of violence to Jimmy. Lois can't believe they let the guy go free on bail. Has she never heard of the criminal justice system? Oh, wait, forgive me. I forgot I was talking about Lois, who hasn't even heard of journalism school. Lois promises the person on the phone that she'll personally take this up with the mayor. Er, good luck with that. The person at the police station hangs up on her. I love that person. "There she is," a voice says, "the legendary Lois Lane." Standing in front of Lois is a curly-haired guy who is smiling at her. He looks a lot like radio personality Bobby Bones. On the minus side, he thinks Lois is "Legendary," which only works if you're Barney Stinson and you're saying it ironically. Lois tilts her head and smiles. She likes the sound of flattery. She thinks she knows this guy from somewhere. He makes a show of only knowing her name because it's on the nameplate on her desk. Then why did you call her "Legendary?" Doofus! He says he's the new city reporter, Sebastian Kane. Kane takes Lois's hand and suddenly has a Dead Zone-like flash into her memories. We see the scene of Lois speaking on the phone to the police again. After he lets go of her hand, Lois tells Sebastian that he's come to the right place to cover crime. She says the crime rate in Metropolis is so high they have to put a "No vacancy" sign in the county jail. Ha! So funny! Because it's true! Sebastian drops a hint that he's a man of danger when he says this town was supposed to be a safe haven compared to other place he's covered. Lois takes the bait, asking where he's been. "The gates of Hell?" she asks. "Iraq," he answers. He says he went in as an embedded reporter when the war started. Lois says he must have seen some "Graphic imagery" out there. Yes. It was PG-13. Sebastian says he saw more than he bargained for. Lois says she's been embedded since birth because she's an Army brat. "No actual combat," she clarifies. Then you weren't very fucking embedded, were you? God. Please deliver me from this fucking idiot. She makes decent episodes bad and bad episodes intolerable. Sebastian says he's new in town and still finding his bearings. Lois offers her guide to the city. She says she knows all the "Tips and tricks." I believe the tricks part. Sebastian offers to take Lois out for dinner. Lois accepts without much hesitation. WHAT!? You're going on a date with your brand-new coworker? Have you no shame!? Sebastian says, "Perfect" and leaves Lois to her little smirk.

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Smallville

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