Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Meet the Blunder Twins

The delivery, it turns out, is a big wooden crate with a fancy red bow on top. The scene shifts to Clark and Lois standing in the delivery room or loading bay or wherever the hell it is, looking at this box. It has the words "DO NOT TOSS!!!" stamped on all sides. Lois is thrilled: "Ho, ho, ho, merry Christmas to me!" The box is like, "Who you callin' a ho?" Lois grabs a crowbar and starts struggling with the crate lid. Clark offers to help her, but she turns him down with a "No," said in the tone of a "Duh!" She tells Clark about how she used to unwrap all her Christmas presents early and then wrap them up again before her parents could find out. This comes as no surprise to Clark, who even seems a little charmed by the notion. (Clark's mental note at this juncture: "Must re-watch Dick in a Box for holiday gift ideas.") Together, they finally pry the lid off. Inside, there are four naked guys who've been bound and gagged. Also in the crate are many bags of cocaine, at least one of which has burst, because these dudes are more powdery than Danish wedding cookies. Lois introduces herself then asks if they'd care to comment on their illegal activities. She rips off one guy's gag and he blurts out that he and his crate mates are all undercover cops. Clark guesses that someone must have thought they were real dealers. "Who could be responsible for such a super screw-up?" Lois wonders. By way of answer, excited voices start shouting from outside the window. Clark and Lois rush over to see what the hubbub's all about and get a gander of a building across the street. Its interior windows have been branded with a gigantic glowing S-shield. Lois is impressed and breathes out, "Now, that's what I call a scoop!" But Clark is perturbed because someone's obviously using his symbol without his permission. Somebody save his trademark!

Back from the commercial. Clark is following Lois through the offices of the Daily Planet as she vents about the Blur not calling her for weeks only to send her these cops now. "Of course, he's probably tail-spinning into the stratosphere because he doesn't have his go-to girl to keep him grounded," Lois says. Isn't tail-spinning usually done in a downward direction? Also, has Lois's voice always been like this? A couple of weeks ago, an angry goose chased my dog out of a pond with a rapid-fire litany of honks and squawks, and I swear it sounded almost exactly like this. Clark tries to defend the Blur/himself by pointing out this latest save doesn't fit his M.O. Yeah, because despite the crate's admonition, you would have tossed those guys. Lois agrees that "sugar-coating" the cops wasn't the Blur's style, but the symbol on the building was. She says, "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm beginning to lose faith in our resident hero." Weren't you impressed with him, like, a minute ago? Make up your mind, woman! Randall the editor sweeps into the office behind them and orders Lois to write a story about the Blur's "questionable tactics." Clark tries to play down the newsworthiness of the story, but the editor is determined because an organized crime boss by the name of Adrian Pope has gone free because of the Blur's blunder. Now the District Attorney is all het up about it. Clark looks sick to his stomach. Lois thinks the D.A. is just trying to cover up his own dirty connections. She tries to get out of the story, but Randall isn't having it. He shoves a piece of paper at her and scurries off to the big Habitrail where they keep all the incidental characters until they're needed. Clark tells Lois to see it as a chance to tell both sides of the story. Lois huffs, "Well, that would require a certain someone to find five minutes to give me a call." She grabs her jacket and purse and wraps a scarf around her head Babushka-style, much to Clark's confusion. "What's up with the disguise?" he wonders. She storms off to the elevator and explains she's got a top-secret interview to conduct. She blocks him from getting into the elevator with her and forbids him to follow.

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Smallville

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