Tess returns to her naughty newsroom publisher perch, where she's admonished by Clark (the guy who cashes paychecks she signs) for running front-page news about Davis every day. I mean, a mass serial killer on the loose? How is that news? Tess, along with everyone else, lectures Clark about how he's going to have to kill Davis sooner or later. Right after, Clark hears Chloe, out there somewhere, screaming. She's scrambling through the woods, dirty and frantic, running away from something Clark saves her just as she's about to be run over by a truck. But it's not Davis she's running from. It's Punky Bruiser and her leather-clad meteor-freak crew, assembled by Tess. They include a now-dead teen named Neutron, a girl with electrical orb powers named Live Wire, a dude who can steal powers named Parasite, and Punky, now dubbed "Plastique." The dead teen was killed by Davis, and now Live Wire is freaking out and doesn't want to be a "hero" anymore. Luckily, the guy who can steal powers is there and sucks them out of her.
Clark enlists the help of Oliver to try to retrieve something he thinks might defeat Doomsday: black Kryptonite. Clark asks Oliver to steal it from Tess's vault and has finally decided Davis needs to die. Or at least that's what we're led to believe. Clark reveals to Chloe that he's going to use the black Kryptonite to split Davis the Human from Doomsday the Kryptonian and send the alien half to the Phantom Zone. Clark gets a call from Dr. Emil Hamilton, who has found evidence of Davis's destruction. He found two bodies from the Tess crew (not like Tess to leave evidence lying around). Hamilton has already determined that only one of the bodies was killed by Doomsday. Live Wire was done in by a monitoring device implanted in her that also contained a small explosive. Chloe excuses herself and immediately goes to find Punky and Parasite. It turns out Chloe's been working with Tess and her crew to track down Davis. She informs them of what she found out, but they don't believe that Tess is responsible for Live Wire's death.
Chloe goes back to Clark to let him know what's up and to dig up information, but she suddenly falls in pain. Then, are you ready for a twist? It wasn't Chloe this whole time since the start of this episode. It was actually a shapeshifter named Eva who was posing as Chloe and seemed to have an awful lot of information about Clark. But she's dead now. Clark takes her to Hamilton, and Hamilton agrees to try to track the Tess team by their implanted GPS devices. He finds Punky and tells her about Tess. She freaks out and wants to bust an explosive cap in Tess's ass. Clark is about to stop her, but Parasite is behind him and steals his powers instead. They go after Tess.
Oliver, meanwhile, has been clumsily trying to seduce Tess in order to get into her bedroom vault. No, that's not a euphemism. He steals her fingerprint off a bottle of wine and breaks in as Green Arrow. He finds the black Kryptonite. But when she comes home early, he strips naked and hops into bed then parades his schlong around in hopes of winning her back. It's too little, too late, so to speak. Just as she's shooting him down, though, Punky and Parasite blow in and grab Tess. They've also disabled her electricals so she can't terminate them. With the help of Dr. Hamilton's bad ass car, Clark gets there and tries to stop them from killing Tess, without his powers. Just as Clark's about to get his ass kicked, Green Arrow shows up, shoots an arrow in Punky's shoulder and stops Parasite with the Kryptonite ring he lifted from Lex. Clark demands the dude give his powers back, which he gladly does. Oliver carries Tess out, and it would be romantic if Clark weren't glaring at him.
Oliver and Clark have another tussle over morals and killing with Clark suspicious of the Kryptonite ring and Oliver mad that Clark lied to him about killing Davis to get the black Kryptonite. Oliver confesses to killing Lex. For now, they're not on the same side, according to Clark. Tess visits Clark at the barn and reveals that she's destroyed the Phantom Zone crystal in order to force Clark to kill Davis. Clark all but confesses his powers and she assures him that she'd never turn her back on Clark the way Lex did. She goes back to Luthor Manor and is met by a growing purple orb that told her to destroy the crystal and now tells her she's going to be the savior of Kandor. Wow. Didn't see that one coming. Is it Zod? I bet it's Zod.
Let us pause for a moment before we dive into the second-to-last episode of the eighth season of Smallville. Breathe in. Breathe out. Be one with the crazy universe that allowed this show to go on for so long, with no end in sight, and for me to get paid to recap it. That's a pretty crazy-ass universe!
Onward. A ginormous moon hangs behind The Daily Planet. The moon is sad for the state of journalism in this town. Inside, Tess is talking on a cell phone as she walks into her office. She says that they can't risk the casualties and to wait for the team before moving in. That's not going to get the pizza you're ordering here any faster, lady. Tess ends the phone call in frustration. There in the office, Clark is standing, holding a newspaper in his hands. Tess says Clark is taking the open-door policy a little liberally. Well, he did study liberal arts. For about half a semester. Clark, strangely on his game this week, says that after she dropped by his barn and called him an "Alien Jesus" that they'd dropped any formalities. Ooh, snap! Alien Jeezy in the HIZZY! He wears a crown of space thorns and says the meek shall also inherit Jupiter and Mars, but only after the great Centauri Battle. Shit, sorry for all that if it's sacrilegious. Too soon? Tess grins. She jokes that she's not sure the sarcasm adds to Clark's "core charm," but I think it does in this case. She asks Clark if he'd like some of her "Kung Pao for one." Naw, that's villain food. She asks what's on his mind. Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Sliders, probably. Clark hands over his copy of the paper and asks if spreading panic is responsible journalism. Aren't you the one who was mad they wouldn't run your story warning everyone about a serial killer before you had any proof? Clark says that putting David Bloome on the front page every day is reckless. Thank you, Professor Poynter. "Reckless?" Tess asks. She says it's reckless not to do everything to stop him. She says if Clark doesn't want to admit his true identity, that's cool, but that they both know Davis isn't a man. "He's a beast," she says quietly. In fact, last week's episode title confirmed it!