Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Itty Bitty Pity Committee

Let us pause for a moment before we dive into the second-to-last episode of the eighth season of Smallville. Breathe in. Breathe out. Be one with the crazy universe that allowed this show to go on for so long, with no end in sight, and for me to get paid to recap it. That's a pretty crazy-ass universe!

Onward. A ginormous moon hangs behind The Daily Planet. The moon is sad for the state of journalism in this town. Inside, Tess is talking on a cell phone as she walks into her office. She says that they can't risk the casualties and to wait for the team before moving in. That's not going to get the pizza you're ordering here any faster, lady. Tess ends the phone call in frustration. There in the office, Clark is standing, holding a newspaper in his hands. Tess says Clark is taking the open-door policy a little liberally. Well, he did study liberal arts. For about half a semester. Clark, strangely on his game this week, says that after she dropped by his barn and called him an "Alien Jesus" that they'd dropped any formalities. Ooh, snap! Alien Jeezy in the HIZZY! He wears a crown of space thorns and says the meek shall also inherit Jupiter and Mars, but only after the great Centauri Battle. Shit, sorry for all that if it's sacrilegious. Too soon? Tess grins. She jokes that she's not sure the sarcasm adds to Clark's "core charm," but I think it does in this case. She asks Clark if he'd like some of her "Kung Pao for one." Naw, that's villain food. She asks what's on his mind. Jack in the Box Mini Sirloin Sliders, probably. Clark hands over his copy of the paper and asks if spreading panic is responsible journalism. Aren't you the one who was mad they wouldn't run your story warning everyone about a serial killer before you had any proof? Clark says that putting David Bloome on the front page every day is reckless. Thank you, Professor Poynter. "Reckless?" Tess asks. She says it's reckless not to do everything to stop him. She says if Clark doesn't want to admit his true identity, that's cool, but that they both know Davis isn't a man. "He's a beast," she says quietly. In fact, last week's episode title confirmed it!

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