Smallville

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Space Girls Are Easy

That night. Ace of Clubs. Slutty Alien shows up wearing Oliver's green dress. She holds in her hand the small red note that he sent to Tess. She tosses it aside. It seems like everyone at the bar is making out or dancing with someone else of the opposite sex. Jimmy is sitting at the bar, alone. He's watching a couple make out next to him and complains that the guy makes it look so easy. The bartender sympathizes. He says that Jimmy has to embrace a little survival of the fittest. Whatever that means. "Make her realize she's not the only fox in the forest," the bartender advises. Thanks, man. Could you just pour the damn drink? Jimmy, who has no common sense, says, "You are so right!" Jimmy suddenly has supreme knowledge over women. There's a tap at his right shoulder. Jimmy turns. Maxima is smiling at him. "I see you're the only one who's alone," she says. That doesn't mean Kryptonian on this planet. It just means he's a giant loser. She thinks he's the man she's been looking for. So what does Jimmy do? Let's start by suggesting things Jimmy should do: 1. Say, "No, ma'am, you must be mistaken." 2. Excuse himself and leave the club entirely. 3. Offer to introduce her to his single friend, Clark. Instead, Jimmy just smiles goofily. Stupid, stupid, Jimmy. It's hard to sympathize with you when you just go with the flow and let bad shit happen to you.

Talon. Chloe sits at her computer, looking sad. She's wearing her giant, clunky engagement ring. The fireplace is going. She's looking at a photo slideshow of herself with Jimmy. Nice sweater vest, Olsen. Clark comes in without knocking. Chloe is glad to see him. She says that now that Lois is riding shotgun on Clark's Mystery Machine, she's desperate for a Scooby Clue. Let's just let this one pass. I don't have the energy to dissect that chunk of junk. She wants to see the concrete crop circle. Clark says it's not Kryptonian. Chloe instantly identifies it as a "Hypogeous Marker." It looks like the symbol for "Decorative scorpion-shaped curtain rod end." She says it's the royal crest of the queen of Almerac. Clark is annoyed that Chloe possesses interstellar knowledge. He blames it on her mind meld with Brainiac. Chloe asks if there were fresh burn marks in the area. It means she teleported in recently. Chloe says they use a Ucrillian Bracelet to compress space and time. They have them at Nordstrom. Clark tells Chloe about the adrenaline and endorphins. Chloe figures out that the queen is looking for a mate. Chloe says she must be killing men with her kiss. She goes on to say that Slutty Alien has won the battle of the sexes on her own planet and is looking for a new challenge. The man who survives her kiss gets to live happily ever after with her. Chloe goes to her laptop to search for a pattern to the killings. Clark brings up Chloe's "Condition" again. He thinks it's getting worse. Chloe says it scares her, but Clark can't wave his "Kryptonian wand" (dirty!) around and fix it. She says it's just the way things are. She asks Clark to just let it go. Chloe looks at a bunch of quickly flashing screens and then arrives at a police wire site. They put their private business on the Web immediately? Chloe says they just found a body outside Ace of Clubs. It was a German businessman. Chloe tells Clark he has to go help.

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Smallville

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