Kent Kitchen. Bo walks in, yelling up the stairs, asking Clark why there's a helicopter parked in the yard. Clark comes around from the side and holds up a suit in a dry-cleaning bag. Lex comes up behind Clark, too. I half expect them to be smoothing down their clothes and fixing their zippers. Clark says excitedly that they're taking Bo up to Metropolis so that he can meet MamaKent for dinner. Bo says this was Lex's idea, wasn't it? Lex says it was Clark's idea; Lex just offered the chopper. "Look," Bo says, slamming something down on the table. It takes a while for Clark's smiles to fade. Bo says that, around here, people respect each other's privacy. Except when it involved a krypto-mutant and MamaKent is calling all over town to find out how they're doing at the hospital. Lex has had it. He steps forward and says that he's done nothing but try to be a friend to Bo: "In return, you do nothing but lecture me with sanctimonious platitudes." Woohoo! Shout-out! "I'm done listening to them," Lex says. But is Bo done dishing them out? Nope. He's got about six hundred green stamp books full and he was just about to order a new batch of them. Lex walks away. Clark goes to Bo and says that wasn't fair. Bo says dangerously that everything was fine in their family until the Luthors showed up. Clark says that it's not Lex's fault. Sweet. Bo angrily tells Clark that it's not his responsibility to fix everything. Does that mean Clark is excused from chores involving repairing everything on the farm? "So just stay out of it," Bo says. Man, is he unhinged.
Commercials. Yes, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is a comedy. Sort of. But it's also damned depressing. You've been warned. And Penélope Cruz, if you're reading this? You're not one burp closer to being America's sweetheart.
Back at LuthorCorp, Skeletal Tyra is doing some metal cutting, and with her big bug-eyed shades, she looks a bit, um...mannish. Handsome Asian is watching her, with his hands tied behind his back. He looks really bitter. Stone Cold is just pleased with himself. Insignificant Guy comes in bearing gifts: he shoves MamaKent and Papa Luthor into the room. "Good. Just saved us a whole lot of time," a sweaty Stone Cold growls. "Open the vault," he tells Papa Luthor. "Too late, genius," Handsome Asian says. "You already burned the plate." When you're tied up and the other guy has the gun is not the time to cop attitude. The criminals all look at each other. An alarm suddenly goes off. Stone Cold goes to look. He asks how the cops got tipped off. Papa Luthor is holding something with a flashing red light in his hand. He scowls at Stone Cold. Stone Cold comes over and tries to grab it out of Papa Luthor's grasp while MamaKent says he's hurting poor Papa Luthor. He pulls out what looks like a little flashing light you'd wear on a necklace at a rave. "Panic button. State of the art," Handsome Asian says. Yeah, we get it. It's all state of the art. Just once, I'd like them to say, "Pager. 1989 technology." Papa Luthor smiles smugly. "Check him out," Stone Cold says. Yeah, check him out. He's magnificent! Insignificant Guy searches Papa Luthor. Papa seems to be having a grand time. He says that a man in his position can't take too many precautions. In his own office. With MamaKent with him? What was he going to do with it in his hand if they did end up making out? MamaKent urges the crooks to let them go to avoid kidnapping charges. Papa Luthor says they should listen to her. Handsome Asian gripes that they should have stuck to the plan. Stone Cold ain't havin' that. He turns around and shoots Handsome Asian right in the damn chest. MamaKent screams. Insignificant Guy and Skeletal Tyra bring their own guns up, and it's Mexican Standoff time. Stone Cold points guns at both of them and screams for them to shut up as they yell at him. MamaKent has ended up in Papa Luthor's arms and he's gently stroking her hair. Smooth. Stone Cold slows things down and calms his associates. He puts his guns down and says they're going to get their money and get out of there. The comrades reluctantly drop theirs. Nice exposed belly, Tyra. They get back to work on the vault. Papa Luthor says they're running out of time and that there's nothing valuable for them in the vault. Stone Cold says to keep an eye on the couple; they'll need them later for leverage. More scared hugging.