Remember in the season premiere when Lois accidentally took the Isis amulet home with her from Cairo? Neither do I, but apparently she did and apparently the thing is cursed. Just when she decides to tell Clark that she knows he's the Blur, she finds the amulet in her purse, holds it up to the sun and -- whoosh! -- the spirit of Isis possesses her. Clark finds her thus just as he's about to confess the truth to her. His plans on hold, he and Oliver run around trying to track LoIsis, who herself is trying to find the canopic jar that contains her hubby Osiris's heart. It doesn't take long. Cat Grant shows up just in time to witness LoIsis using her new goddess powers and thinks Lois is really the Blur. When she goes to Tess to propose this as a story, Tess laughs in her face and then clears up all the evidence behind her back.
With heart in hand, LoIsis goes to restore it to Osiris's body and bring him back to life. It will also unleash hell (the underworld) on Earth, but she figures that's a small price to pay for true love. Clark disagrees and tries to stop her, but ends up trapped by LoIsis so she can use his hot body when she finds Osiris's original body has disintegrated over time. Oliver and Clark get her spirit trapped back in the amulet through a combination of prolonged talking, marksmanship, and heat vision. It's as complicated and hokey as it sounds. Once all the lovelorn Egyptian spirits are dealt with, the lovelorn Clark and Lois resume their Dance Around the Secret. Clark has decided not to tell her, after all, fearing it will endanger her, but then changes his mind when she tells him she's willing to take the risk. So she finally finds out, and it's in this otherwise blah episode.
In the subplots, Oliver is dealing with his newfound fame with a lot of pomp and circumstance, but realizes it's just his way of trying to deal with Chloe's loss. Tess is still taking care of Alexander, a path she decides to keep following against the advice of a doctor who thinks Alexander may be "unstable," because she and the little guy love each other. Also, Oliver and Clark reluctantly welcome her to the Watchtower gang. Good idea? Bad idea? Probably a little bit of both. Stay tuned for the full recap.
Spoiler alert: See what's coming up on Smallville this season.
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Previously on Smallville: Newbie reporter Cat Grant didn't like Lois writing so adoringly of the vigilantes; Lois went to Carter Hall's archaeological dig in Egypt and thought Isis had gaudy taste in necklaces; Carter told us that Isis "spent eternity" searching for all the pieces of her husband Osiris's hacked-up body; Lois apparently accidentally slid the Isis necklace into her purse; Lois went back to Metropolis to resume her partnership with Clark at the Planet; Oliver told the world that he's Green Arrow; Oliver found Tess untrustworthy; Tess rescued an adorable little Lex clone named Alexander.
Now we're in Metropolis as Oliver walks through a future exhibit of Egyptian artifacts. Right now it just looks like a big warehouse with a few columns, a sandstone background and rack upon rack of artifacts yet to be arranged. He's joined by a dark-haired young woman played by the actress who plays Jo on Eureka. She seems to be acting in some sort of managerial capacity. Oliver sounds hesitant about whatever it is she's been proposing. "Yeah, uh, so I'm not really sure about the spotlight," he says. "You know, to me it sounds a little--" She finishes for him: "Necessary!" She wants everyone to be able to see Oliver's big entrance from the skylight. Oliver realizes she wants him to zip-line into the big gala they have planned. Jo says they'll furnish him with wires and harness. She strokes his ego a bit: "Imagine their faces when you come flying in! Daring! Invincible! Fans will love you!" This gets a chuckle out of him, but he says he can use his own grappling gun. Jo says that the insurance doesn't cover that. Does he have a helmet, at least? Oliver goes "uh" for a while until Jo moves onto the next topic, which is this: Oliver is to land on a raised platform near a sarcophagus and then he'll be joined by "the Green Arrow girls," who sound hilariously awful. They probably employ skimpy green leather bikinis and suggestive dancing with big rubber arrows. Sadly, we do not get to witness this affront to subtlety in this episode. This seems to be the first Oliver has heard of these gals. Tess strolls into the scene. "Billionaire by day and hero by night," she says. "Oliver, you're better than Christmas." She says the last so dryly that you could mummify bodies with it.
Jo leaves to deal with some museum business so that Tess can continue to snark at Oliver in private. "'Isis: a Tale of Eternal Love,'" she says. "It's quite a title you chose." Oliver mentions funding the project and believing in the story. Tess thinks Oliver is sending a message to a certain "feisty little blond," wherever she may be. Speaking of Chloe, is there any reason (other than Allison Mack's contract) why she hasn't come back from the dead yet? There's nothing preventing the Suicide Squad from kidnapping Oliver again. What does her being gone accomplish now? Anyway, Tess's last dig proves a little too much for Oliver, who clenches his jaw and starts walking away. She's not through with him: "If only you were still the same guy Chloe fell for, and not a caricature of him." He stops in his tracks and argues that he's just trying to give something back to the city. She dings him for substituting groupie love for real love. He dings back: "Do you even know what real love looks like anymore?" They stand there for a moment, mutually wounded, before Jo comes running back up to Oliver to announce they have a problem. The Amulet of Isis is missing, and possibly cursed. "Whatever soul dares possess it will be condemned to spend all of eternity in hell!" she says. Oliver looks worried. As he walks off to do whatever museum benefactor thing needs doing, the camera focuses on a stone tablet showing a man holding Isis's necklace while another man lies bleeding under his feet.