Smallville High exterior. All the flowers are in bloom! Chloe, sporting J.Lo sunglasses, big hoop earrings, and shopping bags, enters the newsroom of The Torch. Wow, big spender with her $160. "Where did she shop, at Kmart?" Rebecca asks. "I like the new textbooks!" says someone brightly in a clipped Russian accent. Chloe jumps. It's Sir Mxyz-A-Lot. Chloe says she just took 10\% for fun; the rest is for tuition. Oh, wait, I guess this money was from the Sharks game. My bad. Carry on, folks. Mxyz says he's glad his tip paid off for Chloe. Chloe gushes about how much fun it was to watch a game when she actually had something riding on it. Because being in love with the quarterback when she was watching the Crows game just wasn't enough. Chloe adds that she hasn't had that much fun on a couch since Johnny Rosenblatt in fifth grade. Mxyz asks why Chloe would want to spoil all that fun by writing an awful article. Chloe says that the article keeps getting juicier. Somewhere, Jayson Blair is like, "This is way worse than what I did!" Chloe asks if Mxyz is going to do something to change her mind. He gets up in her grill and says that she's only starting to scratch the surface. Chloe says that the article is going to press that night. He offers to give her more dirt. She asks if he's trying to stall the article. "I always get what I want," he tells her, very close. "On looks, apparently, because your charm just ran out," Chloe tells him, getting out of his way. "Kiss me," he says. Chloe, against her will, kisses him. It's not a great kiss. "This is me asking you nicely," he whispers to her as she looks trapped. He tells her she's going to drop that article. Also? These are not the droids Chloe is looking for. Chloe, looking scared, decides that these are indeed not the droids she was looking for.

Commercials. Lord of the Rings in HD? I'm there, dude.

The Barnness of Quarterbackitude. Clark has tied up a tire and is throwing footballs through the hoop indoors, even though it's nice and sunny outside. I guess this is supposed to signify torment or something, that he doesn't feel free to practice his skills out of doors. He tosses two footballs right through the tire. Then he walks over to unlatch a tiny lead box where inside a bitty piece of Kryptonite glows brightly. Clark gulps and looks nauseated as he takes the tiny piece of rock and holds it in his hand. He clasps it in his wrist, and then goes back to where he was throwing balls. He passes. The football hits the top of the tire. MamaKent appears. "I've never seen you miss before," she says. She also says she's also never seen Clark shrink away from his responsibilities. Aw, geez, Mom, get off my back! Clark natters on about how he can't let his teammates down. He says he was trying to find away to play like everyone else: shitty. MamaKent finds the rock in his hand. She takes it away, alarmed, and puts it back in the box. Clark mopes that he always gets better after the Kryptonite is gone. He says that guys play injured all the time. Clark will be the Emmitt Smith of alien high-school football players. MamaKent tells Clark sternly that he's not going to be taking meteor rocks out on the field. Clark mopes some more, but MamaKent tells him, "No." MamaKent gives Clark an update on his earlier question: no, they've never seen him trip when Kryptonite wasn't involved. MamaKent blames herself for not remembering that Clark isn't like everyone else, and for allowing him to try to be normal. MamaKent says that Clark has never had mishaps like other kids have. Except for getting lost in the woods. I guess you could call that a mishap. MamaKent agrees that something happened on the field. She suggests that if Clark wants to play, he should find out what it was.