Smallville
Jitters

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
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Shake It Up

This is the episode that's like a babe in the woods, and by "babe," I don't mean Lana. Or Lex, for that matter. This episode comes after a one-week hiatus, and is the last episode before the holidays, so it's a lone wolf. A lonely poor shrub in the desert. A Han gone Solo, if you will.

So sad is this episode that it opens with Bo Duke -- or at least his lower, naughtier half -- sticking out from under the broken family truck. I keep telling you, Bo. You need to get your ass into some warranties, considering the fact that everything in your life continues to break down. "Get your motor runnin'!" some bright, California-sounding music proclaims, but the cheer is short-lived as Bo smacks himself under the truck and emerges, muttering, "Son of a gun!" Because there's no "bitch" in Smallville. Except Clark. Bo, holding a tiny tool, sucks on his hand for emphasis.

In the Kitchen of Sandwichtude, MamaKent is telling Clark not to use the upstairs bathroom because it's backed up, and she need to "snake the pipes." Nasty. What, did Clark take a Supershit? Clark, wearing headphones (bet he's listening to Frankie Goes to Hollywood), is rampaging around the kitchen, looking for pizza and driving poor MamaKent nuts. MamaKent tells Clark he can nuke some chili for dinner. Ah, that explains the backed-up toilet. "Clark, can I get a hand out here?" Bo Duke yells from outside while Clark munches on some cold pizza. You know, when my dad would say that to me, I would stand there and applaud. It pissed him off so bad. Sorry about that, Dad. Clark is wearing a red Gilligan shirt, by the way.

Outside, Bo Duke asks Clark if he'll, "Uh," and Clark nods, getting the gist of dad's gibe. Clark lifts the blue truck with one hand while holding the pizza slice in the other. Bo Duke says it's a heck of a day to blow an exhaust hanger. Oh, he's making that up! MamaKent has followed Clark out, and tells him she left their hotel number on the nightstand. Bo Duke finishes up under the truck, and when Clark lowers it, he's offered a raise in his allowance. Clark just smiles, goofily, but shows no teeth. Clark tells them it's no big deal, and that they're just spending a couple of nights in Metropolis. Bo Duke mangles all that is holy in the English language by saying that they'll be okay soon: "And soon, madame, so shall we be." Shut. It. Bo. "Almost forgot," Clark says, and pulls out a card with a big-ass stain on the top left corner. "Happy anniversary," he says. So, he can turn back time and leap over tall buildings, but he can't come up with a clean envelope? For shame, Superboy. MamaKent and Bo Duke get in the big blue truck and leave for the city. Where they most certainly will not be perceived as yokels.

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Smallville

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