Episode Report Card
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Shake It Up

Methane pressure is still rising. The kids are running down a hall, and all of a sudden it looks like an astronaut movie. "Kids are coming out," one of the guards says, and MamaKent and Bo Duke are relieved. Papa Luthor, is told that the building has to be sealed because of the gas levels, but if that happens, his son will be trapped inside. Papa Luthor looks stricken for a half second, rubs his mouth with a finger, then says, "Do it." Magnificent, that bastard.

Steel door closing. Just as they cross it, Clark turns around, leaving Sneaky Pete to yell on after him. Clark rolls back in, sub-Indiana Jones style, then superspeeds it along Level 2 at blur speed.

Outside, MamaKent hugs an arriving Pete and asks where Clark is. He does like R&B singer Joe's girlfriend and stutter, stutters about Clark going back in and how he couldn't help. I know he's stressed out and all but he sounds like a damned idiot. He sounded less freaked out when that succubus tried to suck all the fat from his body. MamaKent spins on Papa Luthor who tells her the safety doors are sealed until the gas levels go down. Giving him the fiery look of MomDoom, she tells him that her son is in there. "So is mine," Papa Luthor says. Yeah, but her son is...super!

Back to Clark. He finds that little Cask of Amontillado room. He stares at the wall with great male model intensity. His super-vision kicks in and he sees the elevator beyond the wall. Aha! Commercials.

I don't care if it's Hugh Jackman. Kate and Leopold looks like complete, time-traveling ass.

Jitterman and Lex. The methane level is up to "Taco Bell," and Jitterman mumbles that he's running out of time. Yeah, you've got about ten minutes to wrap this episode up. He tells Lex that it's time to do his part. Lex tells him there is no Level 3, and that it's all in his head. Jitterman swings his gun and clocks Lex right in the back of his tender, sweet head. Lex grunts and falls. "You Luthors are all the same," Jitterman tells Lex as he picks him up in an painful way. "Earl! I found Level 3!" we hear, and it's Clark! On an intercom! Jitterman tells him to stop playing. "It's here! Don't you want to see it? I promise!" Clark says, and it becomes very obvious over a speaker, without his pretty looks to back it up, that the boy can't...well, act. I mean, not over a speaker, at least. Avoid phone dialogue in the future, Clark. Jitterman picks Lex up roughly again and says, "Come on. I want you to see the truth."

More dragging down the long hallway. As Jitterman drags, Clark superspeeds to the hall and shuts off the broken gas valve with his bare hand.

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