Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | Grade It Now!
Just Ass

We cut back to The Ridge. Clark walks at normal speed toward a steel door marked, "Restricted." He pushes the door open. An alarm sounds, everything glows green, and Clark is suddenly sick. He falls down, knocking over a glass with meteor rock in it. It's gooey on the floor next to him. Clark grunts.

Commercials. My wife was just complaining about Drew Barrymore being in yet another romantic comedy, but when you consider what other kinds of movies she might try to do, I think we should just count our blessings.

Sprint presents Oliver's story in the form of a cell phone computer-animated cartoon. I'm not sad that I'm on Cingular. (Text "GREEN" to the number 7000 if you're interested.)

Back at the Ridge Facility. Two guards are walking the perimeter. An arrow hits the LuthorCorp sign right in front of them and spews green gas. The two men do a fine job of acting woozy and falling. Cha-ching! We'll have our SAG cards in no time! Oh,'s Canada. Dammit! Oliver (in his tight Green Arrow pleather) and Bionic Brother (in a He-Man breastplate) approach. Oliver puts a hand near his ear (which is covered by the hood) and calls to "Watchtower." "Watchtower," it turns out, is Chloe, who is back at Oliver's pad. She tells him that there should be a security panel by the east door. Oliver couldn't have taken the map with him on a PDA? Chloe is about to tell them how to re-wire the system, but instead, BB rips off the metal and says thathe can plug in and shut down the whole perimeter. Clearly excited to the point of sexual satisfaction is Chloe, who asks, "You can do that?" And so much more, baby. BB plugs a cord into his arm. The camera zooms in on his left eye, which goes all Terminator on us. He blinks. The perimeter is neutralized. Oliver calls his other buddy, announcing, "Aquaman, you're up!"

We cut to the edge of the docks, where Aquadude swims up quickly. So he's just extraneous whenever there's no water around? Aquadude emerges in an indoor tank that conveniently has a nearby ladder. He tells his earpiece, "Perimeter reached. Proceeding to target." Shirtless, he goes up the ladder.

Back with BB and Oliver, BB knocks out a steel door. Oliver tells his friend that he makes one hell of a can opener. Uh, thanks? "You'd look good on a bag of green beans!" Bionic Brother fires back. Ha. See, that one was actually funny. Ho ho ho. Oliver puts a hand to his ear again and asks Chloe which way to go. How advanced is this earpiece if you have to use your whole hand to make it work? Chloe directs him southwest, adding that there's still no word from Clark. Unless that word is "Unnngghh." BB promises that if Clark is in there, they'll get him out. Or at least they will carry out the tiny pieces with due reverence. Oliver reminds BB that he has a different mission, as the camera circles around them. "You're the boss, Robin Hood," says BB. Oliver heads down a corridor while Chloe asks what's going on with this different mission. Oliver ignores the question.

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