Clark asks why Gwen Stefani is searching for him. She says her father, Zor-El (he used to slash the letter "Z" all over the place with his eye lasers) sent her to find Clark. She says Zor-El and Jor-El were brothers. Clark takes an awkward step back. "That makes us...cousins," he says. It's too bad, because he totally wanted to superbone her. Clark says Jarnelle never mentioned Zor-El. She still hasn't said her name yet. She dances around the subject of their family and says the "House of El" (¡olé!) had a lot of secrets. She says they were dysfunctional. Well, they blew up a planet, so I guess that's true. She says they need to find her ship. She also mentions that there are green rocks around it that are making her weak. Clark warns her to stay away from those things and says that they can kill her. She's pissed off because she thought the yellow sun (yes, that one) was supposed to give her crazy awesome powers. Clark says that's true, but that Zor-El must not have known about the weakness they both share. He says the rocks are radioactive pieces of their home world. She asks how the pieces got to Earth from twenty-three galaxies away. You might want to sit down for this. Or hover in a sitting position. She says she was told that Krypton's salvation was on Earth and that she and Clark are the key. "I hope we're not too late," she says. Did I mention you should be sitting? Clark tells her that Krypton is gone. She asks what he means by that. Clark says it a'sploded. He says the two of them and her case of makeup and tiny clothes are the only survivors. Noooooo! She says planets don't just explode. Hit singles do, though. She should sing. She's really upset. Clark says he's sorry. She tells Clark that the yellow sun has fried his brain cells. This is indeed true, but doesn't really pertain to the conversation. She tells Clark to help her find her ship. Clark says it's missing. She warns Clark that if anyone opens the ship, it'll set off a self-destruct sequence. "Define self-destruct," Clark says. Self-destruct (self dee' strukt) v. 1. To a'splode your damn self. 2. What this show almost did in Season Four. She says it'll be a nuclear explosion. Serious music plays to show that it's serious business.
Episode Report CardOmar G: B- | 1323 USERS: C+
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