Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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You Kent Go Home Again

He materializes in a cemetery under a cloudy gray sky. Back in the barn, Clark Luthor picks up his dorky twin's cellphone and steps on the mirror box, shattering it. "Like they say, you can't go home again," he says to nobody. In the alternate Smallville, a confused Clark staggers toward a funeral gathering. A priest bids farewell to Oliver Queen and offers his support to Mrs. Queen. In this reality, this is Lois, who was so torn up about her husband's passing that she put on the wonkiest wig she could find. As she lays a bouquet of lilies on Oliver's casket, she catches sight of Clark peering at her from behind a monument. Clark looks like he wants to offer some words of consolation, but a gravelly voice interrupts the somber proceedings, shouting, "He got what he deserved, the rich brat!" Everyone turns to look as a clearly drunken Jonathan Kent forces his way into the group. "He stole all of our land!" He shoves some guys out of the way, railing about how Oliver ruined the whole town. He spits on the casket. Clark watches in dismay.

Lois slips away from the crowd so that she can confront Clark with a chunk of kryptonite. "You have some nerve showing up here after you put him in that grave," she says. Clark gets barfy and backs away from her, protesting that he's not Clark Luthor. Lois advances on him, denouncing him as the most hated man on the planet. Everyone wants him dead, she tells him. He stumbles and lands near an angel statue. She holds off on killing him, though, because she has a heart or something like that. "I'm not him," Clark burbles. "He sent me from my world!" Clark reminds her of their meeting on the roof, and how he told her he didn't want to live in a world... "...where I didn't love you," Lois remembers. She stashes away the kryptonite. She warns him that everyone carries meteor rock now, thanks to Oliver. She tells him to run and that she'll cover for him. They stare at each other for too long as the gathering disperses and Jonathan is led away.

Back in the familiar universe, Clark Luthor has gotten a text from Lois, telling him to meet her at an apartment on Main Street. He pockets the phone, then notices the ring on his finger and pockets it, as well. He stands in the middle of the city, looking around as shrill music crescendos. The music's trying really hard to ramp up the suspense, but then Luthor just... walks away very calmly. Commercials.

Main Street. The apartment is kind of dirty and really old, but it has nice brick walls and you probably can't hear your neighbors too much. Well, unless you have super-hearing. Lois is already inside when Luthor opens the door. She's setting up Clark's telescope near a window. "Thanks for coming," she says. "After I left three messages, I got the feeling you might be mad." Luthor notices an old newspaper bearing a headline about the Blur's heroism. Lois babbles about the real estate agent that she assumes Clark sent. She further assumes that said agent blabbed about what a psycho Lois was. Lois tries to explain herself: "I never really had a permanent home growing up, and I remember living there with your folks, even though I thought you were a total dork at the time." She's being very sweet and conciliatory while Luthor watches her floundering with amusement. "You're kinda cute when you squirm," he says. This tickles her and encourages her to take a few steps toward him. She goes on to say she was afraid of losing the only home she's ever known. Luthor says something encouraging and she gives him a big hug. He's having fun fooling her.

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Smallville

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