Smallville

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Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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You Kent Go Home Again

When she says they can have a new start in this apartment, he makes a pretty good imitation of Clark's puppy-face. He doesn't think they can have a new start as long as Lionel Luthor is out there. Lois teases that he's "hooked on our Lionel-cam" and such a thing might be responsible for his late nights. The voyeurism continues! Luthor tries to sweet-talk Lois into taking him to wherever this Lionel-cam is, but Tess is the one with the GPS system. He gets Lois to tell him where Tess is by pretending he hasn't been able to reach her. Turns out she's taking bids on whatever's left of the mansion. Up to this point, he's been pretty smart, but then when Lois shows him around the apartment, he tips the telescope into a box saying they need to "get rid of this stargazer's junk." This immediately sets off warning bells for Lois. Clark so callously dismissing the phallic friend of his youth? Unpossible! She tries her best not to reveal that she's onto him. When she hears sirens in the distance, she prompts him to go help out. As soon as he's gone, she immediately dials Tess.

At the mansion, Tess's phone vibrates unnoticed while Tess leads a small group of men through the ruins. "I don't want development proposals," she says, "I want an estimate on how much it will cost to tear this place down." A guy who looks kind of like Corbin Bernsen starts to recite something out of the bullshit contractor play book, then thinks better of it when Tess fixes him with a look. He slinks off to do whatever she wants, leaving her alone in the room when Clark Luthor walks in. He looks around, stunned. Tess mistakes his look of dismay for something else. "Don't worry, the weeds will grow up and take the place over," she says. "They are Luthor weeds, after all." Even botanical Luthors are inherently pernicious? Those are some damn crazy genes.

Luthor waxes distraught about the family that once lived there, which seems an odd sentiment, considering the hell he went through in his own reality's mansion. Tess only half-jokingly invites him to use his powers to raze the place to the ground. He responds by saying that it won't change the fact that she's a Luthor. She's stung, which doesn't seem to have been his intention. He tries to empathize with her, saying he knows how lonely it is to go through life with a mark on you. "Being the world's greatest hero's just a little bit different from being Satan's child," she says. "Angel or devil is in the eye of he who beholds it," Luthor says. Tess laughs at all this hoity-toity talk until she notices that "Clark" is absentmindedly rubbing his bare ring finger. The real Clark never rubs his finger! He sees the way she's looking at him and drops the charade. He gives her a naughty little smile and advances on her even as she backs away. "Considering our undeniable chemistry, I'd be a little hurt if you didn't recognize me, Sis." She asks about Clark, but Luthor avoids the topic. "The only thing that matters in this world is you," he says, "and dear old Dad." I hope he's not planning on seducing Lionel, too. Or maybe I kind of do. In for a penny, in for a pound. The contractors wander back into the room, spoiling the mood. Luthor backs away with a promise toward the future. Tess stands there looking stricken.

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Smallville

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