Smallville
Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | 481 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Harvey Wallgangers

Outside the Smallville bank. Pete and Clark are walking along. Pete, who is like that wussy reluctant partner in any buddy cop show, tells Clark just to let the official investigation handle it. Clark goes on about how the bank is the one place where the hooligans were foiled. Pete, impatiently, tells Clark to stop channeling Chloe. Pete just wants to get to an episode in which he actually has something to do. Clark x-ray-visions the bank; inside, he sees a human arm floating, as if in amber, in a bank wall leading to the vault. You can tell it's the vault because it has huge clock-sprocket mechanisms. Pete says, "Oh no, not the Kent thousand-yard stare." Heh. He tells Clark to snap out of it. No slap, though. Pete -- stating the obvious because that's the only line he can scrounge -- says he and Clark are not cops. Not until they spin off the show NYPD Pete.

Random Trent Reznor-inspired images on a TV screen. Somebody's flipping channels. The loud music is back. I'll bet if that were your theme music, you'd go deaf really fast. Channel Flipper's got a bunch of green tattoos going up his arm. He's watching a bunch of different TVs at once and looking bored. Another hooligan is on a computer. A third hooligan walks in; when he hears complaint that there's no news of the robbery at Lex's mansion, he calls Channel Flipper "Bro" and says there's no telling how much "jack" Lex Luthor has stashed at his place. This guy needs to take an advanced slang course at the community college. Computer Hooligan, who is the one with the prosthetic arm (it's sitting on the desk with him) pops the Lex disk into his computer. Slang Thug raves that Lex must swim in his money, just like that Irish duck, Scrooge McDuck. Is that a Rave Macbeth shout-out? Computer Hooligan, in a light brogue, says that Uncle Scrooge was Scottish, not Irish. Because if it's not Scottish, it's CRAP! Computer Hooligan informs his hooligan cohorts that the effects of their kryptonite tattoos just aren't lasting as long. Channel Flipper says they need new blood. Slang Thug asks who they can trust. Computer Hooligan shows the other two what Lex had on that disk. He was tapping into Lionel Luthor's computer files. Computer Hooligan says that's why Lex didn't file a police report. He also calls Lex the "Poster Boy for Rogaine." Now, that's just mean. Channel Flipper says they should pay Lex another visit. Computer Hooligan high-fives the others with his one hand. I wonder if, when he lost the arm, he wandered around in a daze going, "I just lost my arm. And I'm...the Computer Hooligan. I can't lose my arm. I'm...the Computer Hooligan," just like the drummer from Def Leppard.

Smallville

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