Young Thief gets all sympathetic and asks his older brother why he gotta be like that. Mean Thief looks at him angrily and asks, "What do you care? It's just a dog." Young Thief asks how the dog is doing. Mean Thief says he has a few hours left in him. He picks up a needle gun and takes an empty vial out of it. Mean Thief says they have a few hours to get CuteEinstein back, shoot the dogs up, and have their strength up by the next day. Young Thief puts his hands in his pockets and asks why "you guys" couldn't get the effect to last longer. "I don't know," Mean Thief says bitterly. "I was just a trainer." He laughs it off and says the plan is on track. He suggests that they close up shop. Young Thief grabs his materials, including a huge binder that reads "LuthorCorp Security Manual," and prepares for whatever's next. The binder holds a single sheet in it that says, "Allow all visitors in all the time."
Commercials. Those mark-down happy-face creatures on the Wal-Mart ads are some crazy motherfuckers. They're like, "Ten-speed bike? $2.99! Human baby? 99 cents! The world belongs to us, bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
Lair of Lex. Lex's majordomo opens up the double doors and gives a little bow as Jane Seymour, wearing an extreme fur coat, enters the room. Lex, wearing his now-normal suit with a white shirt and slick tie, greets her and says that if she's looking for Jason, he was sent to Metropolis on business. Jane Seymour, who has something weird going on with her teeth that I can't figure out (maybe it's that they look so perfect I suspect some fakery), says she's there to see Lex. He tells her he didn't know they had more business to discuss. She gives him a sexy/creepy up-and-down look. "Drink?" he asks. Her kooky sideways grin remains.
Jane Seymour takes off her coat and asks if her son was a good hire. "Excellent," Lex says. "He's taken a real passion for the project I've given him." Project: Lex's Knob. Lex pours Jane Seymour some brandy. She surmises that the project Lex gave Jason doesn't involve his moving out of Smallville. Lex says that's highly doubtful. "I underestimated you, Lex," says Jane Seymour. Wasn't it obvious that if Lex hired Jason, Jason would stick around? How is this some brilliant coup? She takes a sip of brandy. Lex says it's a common mistake -- underestimating him. He drinks, too. Jane says it's not a mistake she usually makes. She circles around this sexy bald pole of a man while saying that headstrong young men have become her blind spot. She means Lex and her son? Is that supposed to be creepy like it sounds? She makes a full 180 around Lex, who has to turn around to talk to her again. Jane's in the foreground now, and Lex is in the back as we get a reverse angle. Lex wonders why she's complaining if she's the one who wanted Lex to hire Jason. Jane says she wanted that so that Jason would break up with Lana: "Instead, you decided to co-opt him." Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Lex steps up to Jane Seymour's face and tells her that paranoia isn't an attractive quality in a woman. Ooh, snap! He just called her, "Dr. Quinn: Paranoid Hag"! One of her eyes goes all astray as she leans closer and says she's just trying to protect her son. "Well, maybe you should get together with my father and write a parenting book," Lex suggests, "I bet it'd be a best-seller." The brandy may be wet, but the wit is bone-dry up in here. Lex leaves her to ponder that one. "Children's book...Papa Luthor and I?...Oohhh. I have been dissed." Jane dangles the information about how Papa Luthor got out of prison. Lex doesn't care. He's chosen to believe that his father has truly been reformed. Or at least, that's what he says. "But it's great seeing you again," Lex concludes. She puts the drink down on his desk and says, "You too, Lex." Seriously, what is up with her Revenge of the Joker smile? She asks Lex to give her best to Jason, and says it's a shame Jason won't be able to help him find what he's looking for. Hot ass? I think Lex is waist-deep in it. Jane gives Lex a Dynasty look over her shoulder and exits. After she does, Lex pulls up the Super-Secret French Map on his laptop. They're hiding me Lucky Charms!