Smallville
Krypto

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Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Going To The Dogs In More Ways Than One

Roger: Hey! What about me? I'm here, too! How about pushing another button, freakin' genius?
Omar: Dude, I know.
Roger: Is the show always like this?
Omar: Oh, man, don't even get me started.

Clark, now lying on the cold ground, starts to regain a bit of his strength. He gets up and slides around to the other side of the van, slipping as he goes. CuteEinstein licks him in the face. Clark breathes heavily.

The two thieves walk back toward the doggie van. Mean Thief lights up a torch he pulls from a stash in a tote bag. "Make a wish, little brother," he says. He tosses the torch at the van. It starts going up in flames. There's barking and howling from within.

Roger: Asshooooooles!

Rottweiler whines as things get a little hot for him. CuteEinstein watches it. The two thieves turn and Clark is right there. "Going somewhere?" he asks. Mean Thief starts to say, "Yeah, man, we got a bunch of money and -- oh. You're gonna throw us thirty feet, huh?" Clark grabs the two of them and throws them thirty feet against the wood side of a house. A wood side of a house that wobbles and bounces noticeably when they hit it. Seriously, it looks like a giant WWE wrestling mat. It's hilarious.

Roger: I tried to tell them. And you know what they said? "Shut up. You're a dog." Well who's screwing the pooch now, Smallville?

Clark and CuteEinstein regard each other over some fire. They hear the tortured barks of the Rottweiler from the van. CuteEinstein jumps into the van and pushes a button he could have pushed a while ago without incident. Rottweiler escapes. CuteEinstein, still in the van, is faced with much higher flames now. Rottweiler barks to get Clark's attention. Then he runs off. Clark superzips all of three feet to get closer to the situation. He zips inside the van, grabs CuteEinstein, and jumps out at normal speed. Clark bends over and covers CuteEinstein as the van explodes. That's a big damn explosion. CGI debris and flames engulf them. Clark sits on his ass. CuteEinstein licks him. He laughs. So, uh, what happened to the Rottweiler? And the criminals? Did they get crispy in there? Commercials.

Roger: There was a draft of the script, where I become a guard dog at LuthorCorp, but it got cut for time. As it is, I like that they leave my ending ambiguous. Do I come back? Am I dead? Who knows, right? Maybe I'll show up again, like that Jonathan Taylor Thomas, scheming my way back to screw Clark somehow.

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Smallville

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