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Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
Going To The Dogs In More Ways Than One

Jane Seymour takes off her coat and asks if her son was a good hire. "Excellent," Lex says. "He's taken a real passion for the project I've given him." Project: Lex's Knob. Lex pours Jane Seymour some brandy. She surmises that the project Lex gave Jason doesn't involve his moving out of Smallville. Lex says that's highly doubtful. "I underestimated you, Lex," says Jane Seymour. Wasn't it obvious that if Lex hired Jason, Jason would stick around? How is this some brilliant coup? She takes a sip of brandy. Lex says it's a common mistake -- underestimating him. He drinks, too. Jane says it's not a mistake she usually makes. She circles around this sexy bald pole of a man while saying that headstrong young men have become her blind spot. She means Lex and her son? Is that supposed to be creepy like it sounds? She makes a full 180 around Lex, who has to turn around to talk to her again. Jane's in the foreground now, and Lex is in the back as we get a reverse angle. Lex wonders why she's complaining if she's the one who wanted Lex to hire Jason. Jane says she wanted that so that Jason would break up with Lana: "Instead, you decided to co-opt him." Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Lex steps up to Jane Seymour's face and tells her that paranoia isn't an attractive quality in a woman. Ooh, snap! He just called her, "Dr. Quinn: Paranoid Hag"! One of her eyes goes all astray as she leans closer and says she's just trying to protect her son. "Well, maybe you should get together with my father and write a parenting book," Lex suggests, "I bet it'd be a best-seller." The brandy may be wet, but the wit is bone-dry up in here. Lex leaves her to ponder that one. "Children's book...Papa Luthor and I?...Oohhh. I have been dissed." Jane dangles the information about how Papa Luthor got out of prison. Lex doesn't care. He's chosen to believe that his father has truly been reformed. Or at least, that's what he says. "But it's great seeing you again," Lex concludes. She puts the drink down on his desk and says, "You too, Lex." Seriously, what is up with her Revenge of the Joker smile? She asks Lex to give her best to Jason, and says it's a shame Jason won't be able to help him find what he's looking for. Hot ass? I think Lex is waist-deep in it. Jane gives Lex a Dynasty look over her shoulder and exits. After she does, Lex pulls up the Super-Secret French Map on his laptop. They're hiding me Lucky Charms!

Kent house at night. MamaKent and Bo are preparing dinner while CuteEinstein watches them both, hungrily. As they're talking about how strong he is, he gets distracted by some food on the dinner table. MamaKent starts saying it might be nice for Clark to have a dog: "It's been kind of a lonely year for him." And for Lex. Bo asks what'll happen when Clark goes off to college next year. Bo complains that he'll have to take care of the dog. Yeah, it's such a burden, taking care of a dog on a farm and all. MamaKent calls for Lois to come downstairs for dinner. She and Bo hear something shatter. They investigate and find the kitchen table completely destroyed. CuteEinstein is eating some grub on the floor next to it. "Hey hey hey HEY!" Bo bellows. MamaKent does an open-mouth stare. "You see?" Bo yells at MamaKent. MamaKent reasons that Clark did that when he was three. "It's not funny," Bo tells her. He goes to try to get the dog away from the food. Lois comes down the stairs, flopping along with very little undergarment support, and asks what happened. Well, the cameraman just went for a spontaneous break and nobody's seen him since. "It's my T-bone!" Bo is yelling at the dog. T-bone! Bo extricates the steak, coming up with just a sad bone. MamaKent is enjoying this. "Bad dog," Bo says. The cows would never, ever do that to Bo's dinner.

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