Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
Going To The Dogs In More Ways Than One

Lair of Lex. Lex is rubbing the tip of his pool cue with blue chalk. Clark walks in. "Clark," says Lex. "Grab a stick, I was just about to break." My Smallville Gay Detector has been out of service for so long that this sudden burst of energy fries it completely, blowing up the circuits and dimming the lights in my house.

Roger: Whoa! Looks like there's still enough T-bone to go around!

Clark ignores the blatant ass-play invitation and asks Lex straight-up if they're doing experiments on dogs at LuthorCorp. Lex gives Clark an appraising look, then tells him it's not really any of Clark's business. Clark tells Lex he found a dog with a LuthorCorp ID tag. "Are you?" Clark asks. In love? Lex tells Clark that when he took over the company, he found quite a few irregular experiments at his dad's business. One of them was animal testing. Lex aims his stick and breaks. Clark watches the breaking and gets a naughty idea. It's the Gayest Look of the Episode. Lex tells Clark that they were mixing meteor rock with steroids to create canine super-strength. Clark asks what Papa Luthor would want with super-powered dogs. The best Westminster Dog Show ever! Lex shoots again, and says that if he understood his dad's insanity, he'd be a much happier man. Lex thinks there might be "military applications," but that the results were inconclusive. He had animal-rights activists protesting, so he shut the site down. Wouldn't Clark have heard about those protests before? "I was told the dogs were destroyed," Lex says. "Evidently, not all of them," Clark says. Lex asks if the dog has any problems. "Is that your way of asking me if the dog has super-strength?" Clark asks, suddenly suspicious and assheaded. "No," Lex says slyly. He tells Clark that he assumes he'd be told that, because if it's true, he'd have "quite a liability on [his] hands." Clark only says that the dog is perfectly healthy -- lying, as usual, by omission. Lex says that, in that case, the Kent Farm will be a perfect home for him. Clark and Lex stare at each other. The fireworks are gone, huh?

Kent house. MamaKent and Lois are on the floor cleaning up the mess CuteEinstein made. MamaKent says she guesses it'll just be sandwiches for dinner tonight. There's a growling coming from outside. CuteEinstein notices it first. Outside, Bo is dumping some garbage. He hears a branch snap and turns. Mean Ugly Rottweiler suddenly hops a fence and starts running for Bo.

Roger: There I go! Look at my damn ears! That's where the tape came off. But look here how I jump at Bo and chomp him straight on the forearm. You can't teach that to these young bitches coming up. That's years of experience.

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