Episode Report Card
Omar G: D+ | Grade It Now!
Going To The Dogs In More Ways Than One

Omar: What did Bo's arm taste like?
Roger: Like stale breadsticks from the Olive Garden.

Rottweiler and Bo struggle on the ground. Inside, CuteEinstein jumps into action. Instead of waiting for someone to open the door, he goes all Cujo and jumps through the window in the kitchen door. Nice one, Einstein. He runs to the fracas, and then he and Rottweiler face down. Lots of bared teeth.

Omar: Scary!
Roger: I call this my "Charlize Theron" moment. I gained a few pounds here to make my jowls look full, and they used some brown makeup to make my face look blotchy. We put some Vaseline on my teeth to make them shiny.

The two dogs face down. Wow, CuteEinstein looks pretty vicious. MamaKent and Lois come out of the house, MamaKent screaming hysterically. Bo tells her to stay back. Rottweiler barks loudly. MamaKent picks up a stick and yells at him to get away. "No!" Bo yells at her. He likes this too much. "Get away!" she screams. Rottweiler barks at her. The two dogs stare at each other. We hear a whistle. Rottweiler turns and scampers off. CuteEinstein goes after him. MamaKent and Lois go to help Bo. Where was Clark in all this? Bo grunts and struggles as CuteEinstein comes back and gives him the sad-eyes. The whistle blows again. CuteEinstein leaves to follow it. Bo winces. Commercials.

Omar: Not bad.
Roger: Yeah, you know, I wish we'd had a little more time to rehearse it. They had to do a lot of inserts in the editing to get it there. I don't like all this cut, cut, cut, you know? I'm a professional. Give me one take, and I'll get it done. This isn't a rap video, you know? Just let us dog actors do our job.
Omar: What was the cast like to work with?
Roger: Oh, you know, they were great. Annette O'Toole -- now there's a lady with some class. And that John Schneider guy. He knows how to treat a dog. He keeps some beef jerky strips in his trailer and he let me have all I could eat.
Omar: What about Erica Durance?
Roger: You know, when they told me how old she was, playing this young woman, I thought they meant it in dog years. Boy, was I wrong.

Smallville secrets on your cell phone. Let me know when they text-message someone with the reason this season is starting to suck so bad.

Smallville Medical Center. I think there's a tile in the floor for every time I've recapped a scene set here. Bo, his arm in a sling, is talking to a doctor, who advises him, "Don't get bitten by a dog again." Bo thanks him for the wisdom, and meets Clark out in the hall. Nice save there, Clark. Bo's arm now looks like a pack of Snausages. Clark asks what the doctor said. He prescribed having a superhuman son around next time to stop shit like this from happening. Bo adds that the doctor had never seen a dog bite where the dog bit through the bone. MamaKent is sympathetic for half a second, and then shows Bo a copy of the Smallville Ledger. "Man mauled in bizarre break-in," reads the headline in all-caps. The front-page art shows the outside of the co-op with nothing going on. This newspaper sucks. Clark says the store owner is in a coma and the police think a bear attacked him, based on its being a creature who could chew through a steel door. Like a bear? "You think it was the dogs," Bo asks Clark. Naw, Clark is liking that bear theory. Maybe there's a robotic race of bears with razor-sharp titanium jaws! That would be fucking COOL! Clark thinks someone is controlling these dogs and using them for crime. Oh. That's not so cool. Lois says that the only people who knew they had possession of CuteEinstein were Lex and the guy from the animal shelter. Lois doubts Lex is committing convenience-store robberies. Clark says they should investigate. Bo says weirdly that they should do that in the morning. He asks Clark for help signing out, shooing the women-folk away. Bo tells Clark that he thinks the dog might be dangerous, even to Clark. Clark wants to find who's behind the crimes. Bo says that doesn't matter; if the dogs were involved in the mauling, they're going to have to be put down. Yeah, with what giant rocket grenade? Clark makes a bullshit analogy about how his parents found him in a corn field and took him in even though he might have been dangerous. Did baby Clark maul the dude at the co-op? Bo wants them to give the canine a chance. "He's a good dog, Dad," Clark says.

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