Smallville
Labyrinth

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Omar G: C+ | Grade It Now!
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These Nuts

Clark is lying on a steel table. A nasty-looking drill is coming right for his head. Shouldn't they have shaved his hair off? Lana watches from behind a window. The doctor says that it'll be over in the blink of an eye. Clark is held down. He waits. The doctor hits "Enter" on his computer. A graphic of a brain changes colors. The drill, whirring, extends to Clark. We hear more barking. Clark turns to Lana. Her face fades out from the window. That causes Clark to realize that it's all a dream. The barking continues. "Shelby?" Clark asks. The doctor looks worried. "I'm still in the barn," Clark whispers. The barking ramps up. More noises. "I know who I am!" Clark yells. He fights off the guards. Dr. Accent sounds an alarm. Clark stabs one of the guards in the chest. He slams the other dude's head into the table. Clark grabs the doctor, who tells him he's having another episode: "Think about Lana. You could be together at last!" Clark throws him down and chokes him. "Get out of my mind!" Clark yells. The doctor's eyes open; the pupils are huge and black. He growls. A CGI Phantom Zone monster pops out of his head.

We cut to Clark lying in the barn. An orange light flashes above him. It draws away from Clark and into an object being held by our friend, Patient Martian. Shelby is barking nearby. The object, a triangle with a red orb, suddenly goes dark. The noise stops. Clark looks up and says, "It's you." The dude, in an awesome leather coat, nods: "Welcome home, Kal-El." His eyes flash red. Martian Manhunter, motherfuckers! "Clark?" says Chloe as she enters the barn. MM flies out of the barn on an orange streak, and into the night sky. Chloe asks if Clark is all right. He hugs her tightly. Shelby barks. "Thanks, buddy. You saved my life," says Clark, patting him. Shelby, hero, barks one more time.

Commercials. I'm still lovin' Everybody Hates Chris.

Kent home at night. The fireplace is going. Clark sits on the couch, brooding. Chloe enters, carrying a tray of what I hope is hot cocoa. Clark asks if she's sure he was only out for a second. She says that she was walking from her car when she heard Clark fall, and by the time she got inside, he was on his feet. Clark says that it felt like a lifetime. Try recapping it! Hey, this is just like what happened to Picard! Chloe says that she has to give the phantom props: dangling the Lana carrot was a pretty tempting offer. She adds, though, that the phantom has never encountered the steel will of Clark Kent. Clark, less flippant, says that she doesn't understand: he almost gave up everything and everyone he cares about...for Lana. Chloe says that, given the upcoming wedding, she thought Lana was in the past tense. So did we. Man, so did we. Are we ever stupid. "So did I," sighs Clark. "The truth is, I still love her." Chloe looks more than a little hurt and glum as she says, "I guess Kryptonite's not your only weakness." Chloe tries to lighten the mood, asking who she was in this alternate universe. Smiling, she asks if she was editor in chief of The Daily Planet, or a Pulitzer Prize winner. Clark, trying not to freak Chloe out, says that it was something like that. He says the important part is that she was the one person who believed in Clark. Chloe smiles. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Chloe," says Clark. Instead of jumping Clark at that moment, Chloe asks if she should cue the Barry Manilow music. "Seriously," says Clark, "you mean a lot more to me than you know." Chloe wants to cry. It's very cute.

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Smallville

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