Clark says the reason he's here is that he discovered an underground government lab in Granville. He asks if Papa Luthor knows anything about it. Papa asks what he was doing there. Clark says he was researching a story for a friend. Papa says the lab belongs to the Department of Domestic Security. Clark squints. Papa says for Clark to tell "her" that it's not a front-page story. Clark says he thought that department only dealt with terrorism. Papa says they deal with other things; he mentions that Washington has had its eye on the stars for years. He says there's a program called "Starhawk" and that they came to Smallville right after the second meteor shower. Papa says he's done all he could to divert attention away from Clark. He pours himself a drink. That hug really heightened the need for liquid refreshment. Clark asks why Papa didn't say anything about this before. Papa says that Clark's life is complicated enough. What with the gay and all. He says the government found no conclusive evidence of an alien threat. He asks if Clark thinks they found something at that lab that could have changed their minds. Clark does the Blue Steel Stare. He steps forward. "Tell me everything you know about Starhawk," he says. Well, sit for a spell and pull up a drink, and I'll tell you the old tale of Starhawk, sonny. It begins on a cloudy night when -- oh, never mind, we go to another scene.

The Blue Dildo of Kryptonian Destiny And Stuff is spinning and shimmering. Agent Carter is staring at it hungrily. If only he didn't work for the government, he could take this dildo to Europe and be married to it, legally. Damn you, government! I love you and must obey you at the same time even if it destroys my soul! Stupid laws. Poor Agent Carter. Two scientists in white coats are trying to look busy. We pull back and see that the crystal is held up by two larger, thicker black pointed objects (uh...could you stop now, show? I think we get the power of phallic imagery by this point) coming at it from either side. If one of those scientists starts trying to instigate an artificial, three-pronged space bukkake, I'm out of here. All right, fine, I'm not. But I'll make some very stern comments about it.