Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Tell Lara I Love Her

Lex is already up and around in his office. He's telling a senator that he needs an assurance that Agent Carter will be fired by morning. Is he talking to MamaKent? I kind of doubt it, because he's barking out orders. Lex turns, and Clark is standing there. Dammit, Clark, not now! Clark is looking for Kara. "Take it easy, Clark," Lex says. We have all night. Clark grabs Lex roughly and asks, "Where is she?" In my pants! Quick, go look for her! Lex says she was just arrested by the Department of Domestic Security. Clark threatens Lex if he happens to be lying. Lex says he tried to help, but the agent got the upper hand. With his handgun. Clark says he wishes he could believe Lex. Lex only wants to help her. "I swear! She's been taken to a lab in Virginia!" Lex says. He asks why they would arrest her. Dramatic music. Clark is still holding on to Lex. Second Gayest Look of the Episode. It's quite the bonanza this week.

Commercials. Someday they will make a minty gum so refreshing and icy that your tongue will freeze and shatter in your mouth. You will nevertheless buy it a second time.

D.C. lab. Kara, hooked up to a Kryptonite IV drip, is strapped to a gnarly steel gurney. On either side of her head are two red brain-thingies that look like the Target logo. We are going to drill fashionable savings right into your skull! Kara asks why Agent Carter is doing this. She says it's hurting her. Because he'll never be as pretty as you, that's why. Carter, so eeeevil, says that if he weren't doing this, she'd be hurting him. He says it's survival of the fittest, as we humans call it. Kara says she's human. Carter says he talked to the lab tech she tried to seduce. He says the machine he's hooking her up to will reveal the truth. It's something developed at Summerholt that makes people relive their memories. Conveniently, it can be hooked up to a videocamera for expository purposes. Carter moves the Target-themed clamps onto Kara's temples. He says he wants to know about her home planet. She lies that he's on it. It's called Earth, fool! Carter smiles snidely. He releases liquid from the meteor rock IV. Kara grunts. It burns! He asks where she's from and when she first arrived on this planet. Extreme close-up on Kara's green eye. We flash to white.

Everything is hazy and warmly lit, like heaven for models. We see a slightly younger-looking Kara wearing a ponytail. She's stroking the snout of a horse in a stable. This scene really screwed with me for a bit until I realized we're at the Kent Farm, not on some weird Space Stable with Alien Horses and Robot Cattle. Kara is wearing a pink shirt and jeans. She sees Lara up in the loft. Lara is wearing all white and has flowing blonde hair. Hey, it's Helen Slater! Welcome! Lara is surprised Kara found her. Kara says that with the speed they have on this planet, it wasn't long. Lara thinks it was dangerous of Kara to follow her through the last remaining portal. Kara says she had to get out of that shithole Kandor, with all the bombing and pointy buildings. Lara asks if Zor-El knows she's here. Kara says her dad was so busy in the lab, it was easy to sneak away. Lara smiles. Oh, you crazy kids with your portals and your superspeed. Kara asks why Lara's here. Lara says she wanted to see where her son may grow up. Kara figures out that Lara's pregnant. She's thrilled. They hug. Kara says she knew how much Lara and Jor-El wanted this. Lara calls it their "Miracle Baby." You just plant it and water with Miracle-Gro for nine months.

Lara has to explain why she'd send her son here. She says that their war may never end, and that Jor-El's Brain Interactive Construct may not save them. Kara says she'll protect the baby. Lara, walking away, says she won't let the fate of the planet risk the safety of her son. Kara asks if she's not afraid of having her kid raised by humans. They smell, did you hear? Lara says that Jor-El visited this family years ago and chose them based on their capacity for love. He didn't travel too far or meet any benevolent rich people. Kara's not impressed with the barn. She says the place is a mess. Yeah? Well, your planet is gonna blow up. How you like them exploding apples? Lara wants to show Kara the main "residence." We flash back to Kara in the experiment chair, sweaty. Carter can't believe she was here before the first meteor shower. Kara tries to deny it. He says she came here in 1986. Carter, wanting to know whom she visited, offers to up the dosage. Kara thrashes.

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