Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lazarus

Lois is already there, reading through old online issues of the Smallville High Torch. They have a dinky high school newspaper online, but not records of Lex's mystery facility? Whatever, show. Lois reads about that time Lana got attacked at the pool with a sudden clarity about Clark's heroism, even though that particular article wasn't actually about Clark. Then she clicks to an article about Pete being kidnapped, but I don't remember that episode (or Pete, really) at all. She keeps clicking through articles, all written by Chloe, and realizes she's the last one to know the super-secret. For a second, I dread a scene where she accosts Clark because the show seems to think it's cute when she's rude and noisy, but for once she doesn't even seem miffed. Good move. Lois hears a telltale whoosh behind her and closes all the articles. Clark walks in, surprised she's there instead of in Africa. I'm surprised the newsroom is so quiet. Did no one in the entire city notice the big, otherworldly beam of light in the sky the night before? Lois throws her arms around his shoulders. "I postponed my trip," she says. "Maybe indefinitely." He notices some Blur-related research on the table and goes fishing: "This wouldn't have anything to do with the Blur, would it?" She teases him about how the Blur wrapped his "muscular arms" around her and gave her the most passionate kiss. She says the kiss was great, which makes Clark smile a little. He hides his smile and looks at her. "That was bold," he says. Lois wonders what other "twisted little fetishes" the Blur might have. Does celibacy count? Lois asks him why he's there. Comedic music plays, and it's so annoyingly clowny that I expect someone in a rainbow wig to ride by on a unicycle. How very little I've missed you, obvious soundtrack. He lies about working on a story. Lois pointedly drops her pen and crawls under the table. I would complain about her transparent ruse, but Clark's jeans are doing a whole caravan's worth of camel toes in this shot, and it's totally distracting me. She spends plenty of time under the table, allowing him the opportunity to whoosh over to the file cabinets with about as much subtlety and silence as a 747 on takeoff. "Lucky for me, it was right here on top of these files," Clark says. Lois, having retrieved her pen, smiles knowingly. He tries to leave, but she calls him back. "We need to talk," she says. They make a date to meet in the barn later.

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Smallville

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