Smallville
Leech

Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Superpower Shuffle

Smallville High campus. Holding a boombox blaring a song called "Bonecracker," Supernerd has just become Superthug. He's wearing an admittedly snazzy black leather trenchcoat and looking pissed off. I guess my question here is, if you have superpowers, and you've just estranged your parents, what's keeping you in school? He walks right up to Dream Blondie and her boyfriend -- who are holding hands across a park-style table -- sets down his boombox right in front of them ("Ow, my ears!" you want them to say), and says to Blondie, "You wanna go out sometime?" Her boyfriend is understandably aghast. He asks if Supernerd's suicidal. It looks like Blondie might actually accept the offer, but not before the boyfriend gets up and starts pushing Supernerd around, alluding to his "bogus stunt." Supernerd has a simple answer: he knocks out the mirror from a nearby truck. (Somewhere, Jocko Whitney is screaming, "Aw, shit, not again!") Letter Jacket Guy starts to back away while a crowd gathers.

Next thing we see, Dick Letterman is running away. He crawls under a truck to escape the wrath of Supernerd. With one hand, Supernerd lifts the side of the truck. He asks why Dick Letterman is hiding. Letterman crawls away. Supernerd flips the truck over a few times. ("Noooo!" Jocko screams, bemoaning the loss of his fifth truck.) As Letterman tries to run away, Supernerd keeps superspeeding in front of him like a bored cat with a mouse. He grabs Letterman and flings him onto a green park table. Blondie goes to her boyfriend, looking scared. Clark gets in front of Letterman. He tells Supernerd, "You can't do this!" Clark tells him he could kill someone and needs to calm down. "You're not my father, Clark!" Supernerd squeaks in his not-at-all-super voice. He tells Clark to get out of his way, and gives him a helpful nudge, propelling him high into the air and onto a crappy car. ("Noooo!" Pete yells in the distance.) Supernerd looks over to Blondie. "Get. Away from us. You. Freak," she says emphatically. Supernerd looks around. Everybody is staring at him, and not in admiration. He superspeeds it out of there. "Bonecracker" is still playing as we pan down to show a broken-looking Clark on top of the crappy car. His head is bleeding in what appears to be the Enron logo. We go to commercial.

If you and your best friend can't find anything to talk about except Starburst, you need a new best friend.

"Just a little higher," we hear, and it's a Dr. Hibbert-like doctor patching up Clark's torso with some bandaging. Clark is about as battered as a Russian skating team's ego. Clark asks how long it's going to hurt like this. He's told it'll be a couple of weeks, which he just can't fathom. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger," the doctor says. This is the lowest-lit exam room in medical history. I think the era of leeches and wood needles had better lighting. Clark looks at the doctor like he's crazy, and just then the parentals walk in. MamaKent goes to hug Clark, and he asks her to take it easy on the ribs. "How is he, Doc?" Bo asks. If I were the doctor, I'd just slap him on the mouth for calling me "Doc." Oh, and does this doctor not notice that Clark has never had immunizations or a medical history of, well, anything, ever? The doctor says that Clark is fine, but that they may take x-rays to be sure. Clark and Bo exchange a glance, and Bo says they'll just take him home. Why would x-rays hurt him now? Bo tells MamaKent to help Clark get dressed while he takes care of the paperwork. As they walk out, Clark explains what happened with Supernerd. Even though it was his chest that got hurt, he limps. He says that even though they're not his abilities anymore, Clark still feels responsible. Weight-of-the-World Clark. Now available with Kung-Fu Grip.

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Smallville

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