Smallville
Leech

Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Superpower Shuffle

The Metropolis office/leisure room where Lex likes to do business. Lex walks in looking tall as a mountain as he greets the teeny tiny Sir Hairy and the for-once-small Boobs McChesty, who seem to shrink in Lex's presence. "How'd you do it, Lex?" Sir Hairy asks. He sounds like Jamie Lee Curtis' thug boyfriend from A Fish Called Wanda before she meets John Cleese. "It's wuuurthless," Sir Hairy continues. Lex advises that they should have done their homework before acquiring Cadmus Labs so wrecklessly. Boobs flips her "ON" button and begins trying to act. She whines to Daddy that she read the report. "You mean that piece of fiction you saw on my computer?" Lex asks. Much familial anger. "That's what you get for trusting family," Lex says. He adds that he and his own dad, the Magnificent and Bastardous Lionel, will be making an offer on their company in the morning. Sir Hairy glowers for a moment, then leaves. "How could you do this to me, Lex?" Boobs warbles after her dad leaves. Lex says she did it to herself. And that's what really hurts. "It was just business," Boobs says, walking up to Lex in the same weird maroon outfit. "Sleeping with me was just business? I'd hate to think what that makes you," Lex tells her. Best. Line. Ever. After about two seconds, Boobs understand the insult and rears back to slap Lex. Lex takes the hit and adjusts his jaw accordingly. "We could have been great together," Boobs says. "I plan on being great all by myself," Lex says, sending hearts aflutter all over the world. Lex says she'd better go check on Daddy because he didn't look well. One last angry look from Boobs, and...wait for it...she's GONE! Forever! (We hope.) Hooray for the end of her crappy four-episode arc. Don't let the door hit your boobs on the way out, McChesty.

Movie theater. Lana is rolling up posters when Clark walks in. He says he saw a light on and figured it was Lana. What, a projection light? You don't have superpowers anymore, Clark. Quit walking around like you do. Lana asks if Clark is okay. She asks how he thinks Supernerd got his powers overnight. "I have no idea," Clark says. Liar. Lana effuses about how great it would be to have powers. Clark may not be super, but he still has the ability to superpiss on people's parades. He says it would be scary. He explains that superpowers haven't helped Supernerd. Lana says she wishes she could fly. "Yeah, that'd be something, Lana," Clark says. The fact that he can deliver that line straight-faced and without excess cheese must mean this kid can really act. Clark gets quiet. Lana asks what's wrong. Clark says it's her necklace. He's never noticed how beautiful it is before now. Yeah, he was too busy emptying his superbowels and twisting in pain. Clark says this is going to sound strange, but he wants to borrow it. After a half-second of confusion, Lana says, "Sure," and takes it off. Yeah, it's just the last memento she has of her squished parents. Sure. Here ya go. She doesn't even ask what it's for. Is he going to woo some hussy up in Metropolis with it? When he takes the necklace, he touches Lana's hand. She asks now why he wants it. "It's complicated." He promises that whatever happens, she'll get it back. Possibly along with the bone from his body it's soldered to. Lana says that Clark is scaring her, and that she wants to know what's going on. Clark just leans in and kisses her lightly on the cheek. "Goodbye, Lana," he says. And then he ships off to WWII. Oh, wait -- wrong dramatic exit.

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