Smallville
Leech

Episode Report Card
Omar G: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Superpower Shuffle

Clark, Chloe, and Pete walk down the stairs at school, right past that fugly crow with the cape and the "S" shield. Pete tells Clark about Supernerd. Chloe effuses about getting her laptop back, and her first byline in the Smallville Ledger. Clark says that the guy only stopped a purse snatcher, and it's not that big a deal. Supernerd goes up to Chloe at that moment and thanks her for the story in the paper. He's wearing a red sweater and a gold chain. Ew. Chloe thanks him for saving her computer, and says that it's her whole life. "Okay, how pathetic did that just sound?" she asks, smiling. This guy must have a thing for blondes. Clark looks jealous. Supernerd asks who came up with "Super Boy." Chloe says she did. He says he likes it. Chloe thanks him. When he walks off, Clark says, "I thought it was kinda lame." I think you're kinda lame, Clark. Chloe and Pete tell Clark that he's jealous. He mopes that the guy needs to be careful, and that the attention shouldn't go to his head. Chloe tells Clark that when he starts throwing people thirty feet, she'll write nice things about him. Clark pissily watches Supernerd sign autographs down the hall.

While Clark and Pete are still standing there, Lana and Jocko walk up to them. Clark looks at Lana's necklace, which isn't glowing. Lana asks if Clark is okay, given that he's staring at her chest. Come on, Jocko. Step in and kick his ass! Jocko asks Pete if he and Clark want to play with Jocko and Brent -- a pick-up game of b-ball. Pete says Clark doesn't play. Oh yes he does. "Bring it on," Jocko says.

Basketball court. Lana begins the first of about five hundred annoying "Whooo!" calls from the sidelines. Alt-rock madness music plays as Lana and her blonde friend whoop it up while the boys play. In the back of my mind, I have the song, "Playing with the Boys" by Kenny Loggins. Further back in my mind, "YMCA" is going. Much basketball action. Clark misses a bunch of shots and, later in the game, starts making them. He misses a slam dunk. He smiles when he gets knocked down. Where's the Gatorade? They "good game" it when it's over, and Clark is all smiles. Pete asks him why he's smiling, since they got their asses beat. "I know. Pretty cool, huh?" Clark says. Eye of the tiger indeed.

Metropolis skyline. Lex is standing inside a very expensive-looking office/art collection room. Camera zooms in on Lex's face as he sees Boobs McChesty and her dad, Sir Hairy, walk in. Sir Hairy has that full-chested Rupert Murdoch look. And when he opens his mouth, he even talks a little like Rupert. Lex complains that Boobs -- who's wearing a red pantsuit that looks like it was thrown out by Mary Hart -- smiles and asks why he seems upset. Sir Hairy, for his sweaty part, says they just closed a deal. Lex complains about being treated without respect. Sir Hairy says it doesn't matter how Lex feels. "Because the deal. Is off!" he announces, trying to do his best Michael Caine. Lex says he thought it was Sir Hairy's ambition to crush Lex's father. "No, that's your life ambition!" Hairy says cheerfully. He's sweating like a basted rump roast. Hairy says his ambition it to take over LuthorCorp. Lex asks how he plans to do that without Lex's shares. Hairy says he bought Cadmus Labs, the company Lex has been researching for the last year. Boobs McChesty looks uncomfortable in the background. I'm happy to report she doesn't say anything. Hairy is happy. He plans to buy Luthorcorp. Hairy tells Lex to tell his dad hi. Then he says, "Come on, girl," to Boobs. After Hairy leaves, Lex tells Boobs, "Congratulations. I hope it was worth it." He leaves. Boobs is left to look conflicted, or stupid, or both.

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Smallville

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