We cut to the inconspicuous FBI van that hasn't moved in days. Lex pulls up in his snazzy silver ride. He yells at the feds, asking what they're doing at the Kent Farm. The FBI guy, hanging out at the back of the van, says that Lex is gonna blow their cover. I have to laugh at that. Lex goes inside the van. Seedy Chris Isaak says that if they want to take a look at Clark, they have every right to. Lex asks if those weren't his men who tore up the farm. FBI guy says they don't make it a habit of storming farmhouses. Er...Waco? "What is it about this kid you're trying to protect?" asks Seedy Chris Isaak. Heh heh. Clark superzips onto the scene and spots the completely not-out-of-place FBI van. He does his X-Ray vision on it. Oh my God! One of those skeletons is bald! Clark adjusts his X-Ray zoom lens to focus on the spy wire that Lex has taped to his chest. Then, Clark does his audio zoom lens on the van. Clark is like a multifunction Palm Pilot these days. He hears Seedy Chris Isaak and Lex talking. FBI dude says they're not interested in some farm boy, they're interested in Lex's father. Isn't that the exact opposite of what they were plying Lex about earlier? The FBI guy tells Lex to get the hell out of here so they can work. This whole scene rings pretty false.
Outside, Lex walks away as the van drives off. He click-clicks to open his car doors with his key remote, but before he can get in, an angry farmboy swings him around. Clark pushes Lex up against the car. "Your father's not the one working with the FBI, it's you!" Lex tells Clark he has to trust him. "I did!" Clark yells and...I'm not making this up, folks...tears Lex's shirt off at the shoulders to expose his wire tap. I've wanted us to see this moment for years, but not like this. Not like this. This is just a bad Justin Timberlake impression. Clark rips the wire off of Lex. Despite its intimations of rough sex, it's still the Gayest Look of the Episode. Lex tells Clark as he walks off that he's got it all wrong. It's pants first, then shirt! Lex yells that it's not about Clark; they're trying to take down Papa Luthor. Lex reveals that his dad tried to pin the Metron murders on Lex, so Lex made a deal with the feds. As inspirational music plays, Lex says he's given his dad chances to show who he is. Lex comes close to Clark. He says he realized he already knows, and that his dad deserves what's coming to him. As the camera shakes a bit (sexual tension!), Clark accuses Lex of invading his privacy. Lex says he didn't send the FBI to Clark's farm, but that Papa Luthor may have had his own men go in. Oh, snap! He's right! Lex says the question is why. "Maybe he's on to you! Maybe he's warning you to back off!" Clark yells childishly. Lex says he's sorry if that's true, but he thinks Clark is already involved. Clark, defensive, asks what he means. Lex asks about Dr. Swann. Can I just add what a douche Clark is for trying to make Lex feel guilty for spying on him when he just five seconds ago was spying on Lex? Superdouche! Clark hesitates and lies: "What makes you think I know him at all?" Lex heard from the FBI that his dad is talking to Swann. And that Papa Luthor found Swann through Clark. Have I already mentioned that Clark is being an absolute douche? I would hate to leave that out of my recap. Clark lies yet again and says that Swann has been studying the cave paintings. Which isn't technically a lie, but isn't the truth, either. Lex says he doesn't know how Clark did it, but he's got two billionaires interested in him and his caves. It's every butt-boy's dream! "They're your enemies," Lex says with intensity, "not me."













Comments