In the Caves of Elaborate Machinery. The fake FBI agent is talking to Papa Luthor, who is very displeased that they didn't find what they were looking for on the Kent farm. Suddenly, Bo Duke shows up with a shotgun. This cave isn't just going to take itself hostage, dammit. Bo yells at everybody to leave, except Papa Luthor. Bo cocks his shotgun and shoots a poor, defenseless little laptop. NOOOOOOOOO! I think this may be the most emotional Smallville moment of the season for me. Why is Agent Tobin hugging Papa Luthor? Bo cocks again and tells Papa that he has no right to be down there. Bo says that Papa Luthor wants something that doesn't belong to him, and Bo's not going to let Papa Luthor take it. Papa Luthor says that there are some things so valuable in this world to be the sole possession of one person. Like, say, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Call me before I get married, Cathy! There's still time! Papa Luthor uses his gun as an extra arm to shove Papa Luthor against the cave wall and tell him to stay away from Bo's son. I really thought this conversation would happen between Bo and Lex someday. Papa Luthor changes tacks and says that if Bo had raised Clark the way Papa raised Lex (hair loss, dead mom, electroshock therapy), Bo wouldn't have to protect him. Papa Luthor says that weakness isn't something you're born with; it's taught. Bo clocks Papa Luthor in the mouth with the butt of his rifle. Holy crap! Papa Luthor attacks, and they crash into some equipment. Pretty sparks fly, and not just emotionally. It's a catfight! Lots of punching, rolling around and sissy slaps. And there's a forward donkey kick! And a head butt! And Bo being thrown through glass! Papa Luthor punches the shit out of Bo and then looks like he's trying to claw his eyes out. Oedipus, no!

Suddenly, something in Bo's pocket begins to glow. Why don't you give it a little squeeze and say, "How do ya do?" Actually, it's the Goddamned Octagon and it burns! BUUUUUURNS! Papa Luthor grabs at it, and the two fight for the now-yellow object. It falls. The two dive for it. Where did all this wind come from? Bo mounts Papa Luthor from behind and the two lock hands sweetly trying to reach for the octagon, which is now flying. This bit isn't gay, but I do think they should ban this kind of scene with a constitutional amendment. The two watch the octagon fly to the cave wall. The entire wall begins to shimmy and shake. Bo starts to put Papa Luthor in the sleeper hold. Clark suddenly appears and pulls Bo off as Papa Luthor gasps. Bo insists that it's the only way he'll know Clark is safe. By getting sent to prison? Lots of folks appear from nowhere (none of them saw the miraculous cave apparition?) and pull guns on Bo. Bo has his wits about him after all: he tells Papa Luthor that unless he wants to explain the fake FBI raid to the police, he'd better let Bo walk out of there. Papa Luthor tells his men to back off. An egghead tells Papa Luthor to come and take a look at something. Papa looks at the wall through a glass partition. The octagon hole seems sealed over. "The key's in the wall," Papa Luthor says with wonder. The metal object -- it's octagone! Everyone wonders what's up. Bo asks Clark where the key went. "I don't have it," says Clark. Well, crap.