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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Eight Deadly Sides Of Death

Outside, Lex walks away as the van drives off. He click-clicks to open his car doors with his key remote, but before he can get in, an angry farmboy swings him around. Clark pushes Lex up against the car. "Your father's not the one working with the FBI, it's you!" Lex tells Clark he has to trust him. "I did!" Clark yells and...I'm not making this up, folks...tears Lex's shirt off at the shoulders to expose his wire tap. I've wanted us to see this moment for years, but not like this. Not like this. This is just a bad Justin Timberlake impression. Clark rips the wire off of Lex. Despite its intimations of rough sex, it's still the Gayest Look of the Episode. Lex tells Clark as he walks off that he's got it all wrong. It's pants first, then shirt! Lex yells that it's not about Clark; they're trying to take down Papa Luthor. Lex reveals that his dad tried to pin the Metron murders on Lex, so Lex made a deal with the feds. As inspirational music plays, Lex says he's given his dad chances to show who he is. Lex comes close to Clark. He says he realized he already knows, and that his dad deserves what's coming to him. As the camera shakes a bit (sexual tension!), Clark accuses Lex of invading his privacy. Lex says he didn't send the FBI to Clark's farm, but that Papa Luthor may have had his own men go in. Oh, snap! He's right! Lex says the question is why. "Maybe he's on to you! Maybe he's warning you to back off!" Clark yells childishly. Lex says he's sorry if that's true, but he thinks Clark is already involved. Clark, defensive, asks what he means. Lex asks about Dr. Swann. Can I just add what a douche Clark is for trying to make Lex feel guilty for spying on him when he just five seconds ago was spying on Lex? Superdouche! Clark hesitates and lies: "What makes you think I know him at all?" Lex heard from the FBI that his dad is talking to Swann. And that Papa Luthor found Swann through Clark. Have I already mentioned that Clark is being an absolute douche? I would hate to leave that out of my recap. Clark lies yet again and says that Swann has been studying the cave paintings. Which isn't technically a lie, but isn't the truth, either. Lex says he doesn't know how Clark did it, but he's got two billionaires interested in him and his caves. It's every butt-boy's dream! "They're your enemies," Lex says with intensity, "not me."

Swann's big-ass building. "You betrayed me!" Clark yells to Swann, who's chilling in an open foyer. "Hello, Kal-El," Swann says, all cool and calm. "My name is Clark," says our mopey teen hero. He's Clark Kent, bitch! Swann asks if Clark thinks the betrayal came from his talking to Papa Luthor. Clark says he's doing more than that. Swann promises that he didn't reveal Clark's secret. He adds that his involvement with Papa Luthor is in Clark's best interest. Clark isn't buying it. Swann asks whether Papa Luthor caused the explosion on the farm or made Clark run wild in Metropolis. Swann says he opened the door to Clark's origins because he thought Clark could handle it. Oops. Swann says he was wrong. Clark reveals the other message in the ship from Jor-El: that he was sent to conquer Earth. Clark asks if that's true. Swann looks to the left and says he doesn't have all the answers. He's still on the same journey as Kal-El. Clark asks him not to call him by that name. Swann tries to make Clark feel better by saying the struggles of fathers and sons are as old as time itself. Ever seen a daddy amoeba try to force his son to split before he wants to? It's messy. Clark insists he's not human. He says it with a lump in his throat I normally only associate with his scenes with Lex. It's time for a Science Platitude from Swann: "Humanity is not only about biology." Clark insists that everything Jor-El has predicted has come true, and that his deal with Bo is killing him. Swann says that if Clark continues on this path, he'll expose his secret to the Luthors and to the world. Clark doesn't want Bo to die for his mistakes. Swann says that if that's Clark's decision, there's something else he has to show Clark. "Activate screen," Swann announces. A panel pops up and reveals a message in Kryptonian. Clark goes to read it. Is it Rumbaf before Quarf, except after Spleii? Clark reads: "I am waiting." He says it must be from Jor-El. Swann says that the message wasn't from space. It was from Earth. He believes that it wasn't meant for Clark. So...who was it meant for? No clue? No? Really? All right, then.

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