Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Eight Deadly Sides Of Death

The Barnness of Here We Are Againitude. The tool box is glowing again. Bo opens it and takes out the octagon, which has had more screen time this season that Pete. Yay, octagon! Bo thinks about the octagon, and then walks offscreen. Octagonal drama! Exciting! But not really.

Commercials. It's the season finale of The Help. That show had a season?

In the disheveled Kent home. Clark walks into the house and calls out for Bo, but can't find him. It's daytime. MamaKent says that Bo left again. She tells Clark not to be too hard on him. Clark explains about the message from Jor-El and how Swann thinks it's meant for someone other than himself. Clark thinks Bo's been getting messages from the octagon. Like, "Hey, fucker, put me down already! I'm screwing the show up!" MamaKent, still in O, Merciful Heavens A'hm Helpless! Mode, asks what Jor-El wants with Bo Duke. Clark doesn't know but he needs to find Bo. Where do you think he went? Oh, gee, I wonder.

In the Caves of Elaborate Machinery. The fake FBI agent is talking to Papa Luthor, who is very displeased that they didn't find what they were looking for on the Kent farm. Suddenly, Bo Duke shows up with a shotgun. This cave isn't just going to take itself hostage, dammit. Bo yells at everybody to leave, except Papa Luthor. Bo cocks his shotgun and shoots a poor, defenseless little laptop. NOOOOOOOOO! I think this may be the most emotional Smallville moment of the season for me. Why is Agent Tobin hugging Papa Luthor? Bo cocks again and tells Papa that he has no right to be down there. Bo says that Papa Luthor wants something that doesn't belong to him, and Bo's not going to let Papa Luthor take it. Papa Luthor says that there are some things so valuable in this world to be the sole possession of one person. Like, say, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Call me before I get married, Cathy! There's still time! Papa Luthor uses his gun as an extra arm to shove Papa Luthor against the cave wall and tell him to stay away from Bo's son. I really thought this conversation would happen between Bo and Lex someday. Papa Luthor changes tacks and says that if Bo had raised Clark the way Papa raised Lex (hair loss, dead mom, electroshock therapy), Bo wouldn't have to protect him. Papa Luthor says that weakness isn't something you're born with; it's taught. Bo clocks Papa Luthor in the mouth with the butt of his rifle. Holy crap! Papa Luthor attacks, and they crash into some equipment. Pretty sparks fly, and not just emotionally. It's a catfight! Lots of punching, rolling around and sissy slaps. And there's a forward donkey kick! And a head butt! And Bo being thrown through glass! Papa Luthor punches the shit out of Bo and then looks like he's trying to claw his eyes out. Oedipus, no!

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