Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Eight Deadly Sides Of Death

Suddenly, something in Bo's pocket begins to glow. Why don't you give it a little squeeze and say, "How do ya do?" Actually, it's the Goddamned Octagon and it burns! BUUUUUURNS! Papa Luthor grabs at it, and the two fight for the now-yellow object. It falls. The two dive for it. Where did all this wind come from? Bo mounts Papa Luthor from behind and the two lock hands sweetly trying to reach for the octagon, which is now flying. This bit isn't gay, but I do think they should ban this kind of scene with a constitutional amendment. The two watch the octagon fly to the cave wall. The entire wall begins to shimmy and shake. Bo starts to put Papa Luthor in the sleeper hold. Clark suddenly appears and pulls Bo off as Papa Luthor gasps. Bo insists that it's the only way he'll know Clark is safe. By getting sent to prison? Lots of folks appear from nowhere (none of them saw the miraculous cave apparition?) and pull guns on Bo. Bo has his wits about him after all: he tells Papa Luthor that unless he wants to explain the fake FBI raid to the police, he'd better let Bo walk out of there. Papa Luthor tells his men to back off. An egghead tells Papa Luthor to come and take a look at something. Papa looks at the wall through a glass partition. The octagon hole seems sealed over. "The key's in the wall," Papa Luthor says with wonder. The metal object -- it's octagone! Everyone wonders what's up. Bo asks Clark where the key went. "I don't have it," says Clark. Well, crap.

Kent farm during the day. You didn't think they were going to end this episode without some more Clark 'n Lana shit, did you? There's a God of this show and He is not merciful. Clark is puttering around with a wheelbarrow. Lana pulls up in her Jeep Liberty. Some alt-crappy song about Mona Lisa is playing. On her best day, Lana is no Mona Lisa. She's not even Lisa Simpson. She's also wearing a pink peacoat on a sunny day and a pink scarf. Even the Pink Panther is like, "Damn, girl, dial it down! Da dum da dum...da dum...da dum da dum da dum da dum da duuuuuuuuum." Lana just came to...does she even know why she's here? She says they left things in a weird place. On her upper lip. Clark says that his feelings have never changed. He's immobile that way. Yikes. Lana says that part of her knows that, but it's like Lex says -- people are who they've always been. Why don't you credit Rilke with that, ya plagiarizing beeyotch? Clark asks what Lex has to do with this. Lana says she trusts him. She says Lex wants what's best for them. Clark brings up all the times they've avoided what they really want. Lana accuses Clark of backing away every time they get close. She's tired of this shit! "You can't keep changing the rules," she says. That's unfair because Clark thought the game they were playing was Uno. Clark says he doesn't want to hurt Lana and that he isn't leave this time. "Maybe I am," Lana says. A spine! There's a spine under all that pink! Lana says she's been so focused on Clark she's missing her whole life. Her whole exciting pink pancake, no-friend, no-relative havin' Talon and coffee life. Wow, Lana. That's a lot of living there. "Like seeing other people," Clark says glumly. Lana says no, more like "everything." She says she can't keep doing this with Clark. Sad strummy bullshit music keeps playing. Lana leaves as the strings start to play. Clark moves his eyebrows a little. Acting!

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