Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Eight Deadly Sides Of Death

Clark and Bo come back to the barn to find it a mess. Where are those Queer Eye guys when you need them? MamaKent explains about the FBI. She says that the only thing that's missing is the key. Clark goes to the tool box: "I have to get that back!" Bo says it doesn't matter. "How can you say that?" Clark yells at him. Bo says they didn't get what they came for. Dad's got the octagon! Dramatic looks all around. It's all about the octagon, people. Bow down.

Commercials. The Prince & Me. I really wish a hunky Danish prince would come and write the rest of this recap. Now that's love.

Scary Luthor Manor at night. Lex is on the same seat he was when he was talking to Lana, but this time there are two heavyset German gentlemen in Lana's seat. I'm liking zee Germans more at this point. Clark busts into the room just as Lex is busting out his language skills. Lex asks if this can wait. Lex excuses himself, in German. Mein exiten! Clark tells Lex about the FBI invasion. Clark says he thinks Papa Luthor is to blame, and recaps Papa's fixation on Clark and the caves. Lex pours himself a drink. He's back on the sauce. Lex spins and says that even though Papa Luthor's methods are questionable, his reasons usually have a grain of truth to them. Clark says Papa Luthor is obsessed. Obsessed! Lex squeezes Clark's forearm; we even get a close-up of it. He says he's glad Clark told him. In bed. He says it means a lot that Clark trusts him enough to let him help. In bed. Clark asks if there's something Lex isn't telling him. Lex looks away, but just for a second. "And what would that be, Clark?" he asks. You shouldn't have kissed Lana, Clark. Now you've got Lex on the rebound.

We cut to the inconspicuous FBI van that hasn't moved in days. Lex pulls up in his snazzy silver ride. He yells at the feds, asking what they're doing at the Kent Farm. The FBI guy, hanging out at the back of the van, says that Lex is gonna blow their cover. I have to laugh at that. Lex goes inside the van. Seedy Chris Isaak says that if they want to take a look at Clark, they have every right to. Lex asks if those weren't his men who tore up the farm. FBI guy says they don't make it a habit of storming farmhouses. Er...Waco? "What is it about this kid you're trying to protect?" asks Seedy Chris Isaak. Heh heh. Clark superzips onto the scene and spots the completely not-out-of-place FBI van. He does his X-Ray vision on it. Oh my God! One of those skeletons is bald! Clark adjusts his X-Ray zoom lens to focus on the spy wire that Lex has taped to his chest. Then, Clark does his audio zoom lens on the van. Clark is like a multifunction Palm Pilot these days. He hears Seedy Chris Isaak and Lex talking. FBI dude says they're not interested in some farm boy, they're interested in Lex's father. Isn't that the exact opposite of what they were plying Lex about earlier? The FBI guy tells Lex to get the hell out of here so they can work. This whole scene rings pretty false.

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