Smallville

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B+ | 1916 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
My Troubles Are Legion

Commercials. Wal-Mart sells digital TVs just like the ones at your big electronic stores! Given that Circuit City just went under, that doesn't inspire much confidence.

Streets of Metropolis. It's raining. Garth, Rokk and Imra are walking together looking inconspicuous (that is, if they're pretending they're German tourists). Garth coughs, complaining about the pollution. Rokk says that humans won't replace carbon fuels for another 20 years. Oh, go back to 3011, you goddamned hippies! Imra doesn't care, she just wants to protect the awesome humans who gave Clark his indominatable spirit. And punch them in the mouth. Garth and Imra are from the future, but they don't seem to have perfected undershirts that stay above the jacket line. He says that all they know about Kal-El is from holovids and data files. He wonders if the person they've been looking up to is "more legend than Legion." Don't you know him personally? Why all the whining? Rokk insists that Clark is no fraud. Imra suggests they have to stop Brainiac whether Clark is on-board or not. Garth resets his chins. He says, determined, "We're gonna have to kill Chloe Sullivan ourselves." Also, you should say it loudly and in public so everyone can hear you. Rokk and Garth have a short staring contest, but Rokk loses. For a moment, it was the Gayest Look of the Episode.

Isis. Clark whooshes in, looking for Lana. Clark says that the creature isn't the main problem; they've got Brainiac to deal with. Lana knows. She tells Clark she had a visitor who explained everything. Lana is searching the power grid for any surges that would lead them to the robot. She brings up the issue of killing Chloe. What say you? "What if she's right?" Clark asks. Clark rationalizes; he says he's always put the lives of his friends before everything else, but he's struggling with weighing Chloe's life against that of billions of other people. Lana looks at Clark sternly. She says that she may have been gone a while (oh, yeah, how was Street Fighter? [Don't ask. - Z]), but the Clark she knew would never doubt himself. Are you fucking kidding me? Clark is never not doubting himself! They almost changed his name to Thomas because he's always doubting. His favorite Broadway play and subsequent movie adaptation is Doubt. His favorite movie to watch on cable is Mrs. Doubtfire! The only music on his iPod is No Doubt! Lana must be thinking of the other guy she was screwing, Lex Luthor. Lana cuts Clark off and says that her Clark would never waver. I'd pursue that thread, but can't think of enough pop culture references containing the word "Waver." Lana says Clark should save Chloe and the rest of the world. Yeah, I'll put that on my to-do list next to, "Don't renew Season Nine contract." Thanks, Lana. Clark is suddenly inspired. Lord knows why.

Smallville

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