Smallville
Lexmas

Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Fa La La La La, La La La Lex

Bright flash. A baby is born. Lana is smiling as Lex holds her head. "Merry Christmas," a nurse says as she brings the swaddled child to Joseph and Mary...er, Lex and Lana. Lex holds the baby in wonder. "Wow," he says. Lana agrees. Lex says she's perfect (the baby, not Lana...for once), and thanks Lana for the amazing Christmas gift. This is almost as good as an iPod Nano. "Well, you did a little bit," Lana says. "Yes, thanks for the hospital-room emasculation there, hon," thinks Lex. "Can't wait to do a "little bit" more in the future. My libido thanks you." "Hi! Hi, li'l girl!" Lana says in a strange Joey Lauren Adams voice. Lana, Lex, and Lana's wayward tooth are all incredibly happy. Until Lana hitches in a rough breath. She starts to struggle to breathe. Her vital signs spike. Lex calls for a nurse. The nurse says that Lana is hemorrhaging and that they need to start a transfusion. Lex asks what's happening. Did she not just tell you? They try to get Lex out of there as they go to work on the Virgin Lana. "Lana!" Lex calls as he's shoved out of the room. They get ready to transfer Lana to the OR.

Commercials. Penguins and polar bears drinking lots of caffeine. I can't imagine that could end well.

Lex at the medical center. He's pacing. A nurse shows up and tells him that Lana's lost a lot of blood. Why aren't the Kents or anyone else here to support Lex? "There's gotta be something that you can do!" Lex cries. The nurse's face doesn't seem to agree.

Lair of Lex. Only it's Papa Luthor's office now. Papa sits bathed in unholy light at a desk as Lex slinks into the room. Lex, standing firmly at the doorway, says, "Dad, I, uh, need some help." Way to show some resolve. Papa Luthor doesn't doubt it. "Why else would you be here on Christmas Eve?" Now, I know Bo's probably not rich, but couldn't Lex have asked his bestest new buddy for some help? Couldn't a state senator pull some strings? Couldn't the Planet, for that matter? A charity car wash? Anything? This show acts like Papa Luthor is the only person who can afford a helicopter ride in all of Kansas. Lex doesn't explain very well. He says that they've started transfusions (but doesn't say for what), and that Lana needs a specialist. Lex mentions a specialist at the Davis Clinic in Metropolis. Papa Luthor looks up from his sleek Alienware laptop and drink to scoff: "Oh, Lex, what a sorry situation you've gotten yourself into." Coldness! Lex doesn't think Papa Luthor understands: "My wife is dying and I need the helijet to save her." Ooh, a helijet. Fancy! Papa understands, but he doesn't care. "I'm talking about Lana!" Lex yells. Lex tries to appeal to Papa Luthor's familial side: "She's the mother of your grandchildren." "How can I have grandchildren? I don't have a son," Papa tells him.

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