Episode Report Card
Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
Fa La La La La, La La La Lex

Kent Farm, according to the bright red mailbox and garland. Inside, Shelby, wearing cute toy antlers, is snatching snacks from a table. Bo, back to his usual plaid, stops him. Festive music plays as MamaKent passes treats to other plaid-clad men. Lana passes out drinks as Clark and Chloe talk about what happened in Metropolis. I guess Chloe lied about how long it took her to get back there. Or did Clark carry her back to Smallville? She's explaining to Clark about Santa and the toys. "Yeah, right," Clark says. He can't believe it's the same guy. Chloe says she may have been tired enough to imagine Santa, but that there's no way she could have imagined away all the toys. "Maybe he really is..." Chloe asks. "Yeah, right," Clark repeats. Sure, like you have room to disbelieve. MamaKent announces that it's snowing. "We are gonna have a white Christmas!" she exclaims. Yep, I don't see any minorities here. And Lana's real-life ethnicity doesn't count on this show, even when she travels to freakin' China. Outside, it's coming down fast. Lana, in a slinky little top, doesn't seem to be too cold. "Merry Christmas, Lana," Clark says. "Merry first Christmas together, Clark," she says. "First of many." Last, maybe? They hug.

Lex, at the hospital. He's standing by the window as it snows outside. Should he really be standing? "I thought you didn't make house calls," he says. Wayne Brady, House Caller, is standing at the door. He says he made an exception. Lex tells him not to worry. Luthors are made of tough and definitely expensive material. Lex is asked if his morphine drip is set too high. Lex says it's not every day you have a near-death experience. Well, on this show, you do. Lex says he's realized that, much like Ebenezer Scrooge, what he wants more than anything is to live happily ever after. Lex turns and faces Griff: "You know what the secret to living happily ever after is? Power. Money and power." Uh-oh. I though it was cheese. My priorities must be totally fucked up. "See, once you have those two things, you can secure everything else. And keep it that way." Wayne Brady, Moral Ignorer, asks what he's doing there. Lex turns back to the window. "I want you to pull the pin on that grenade," he says. "Find it, fake it. Do whatever it takes to knock Jonathan Kent out of the race." A bell tolls. Lex turns again to face Griff one more time. "I want to be Senator. I want it all," he says with much emphasis. Wayne Brady, Can-Do Man, tells Lex to consider it done. He wishes Lex a Merry Christmas and exits. Lex stays facing the window. Reverse angle from outside. The camera pulls back on a very, very well-done shot. Haunting music plays as we pull back to reveal the reflection of Lillian next to Lex. She looks hurt and disappointed. Snow falls heavily as bells toll for Lex.

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