Lex goes to the bathroom, locks the door, and stares in the mirror. He finds some pills in the medicine cabinet. When he closes the cabinet door, a woman with long brown hair is standing behind him. Lex cringes. "Hello, Lex," she says. "Mom?" he asks. Geez, don't you ghosts knock? He starts to say she's dead. "Am I dead?" he asks her. Lillian tells him he's not. Lex thinks he's dreaming. He puts some water on his face. His mom's still there. Lillian says that this is Lex's life; it's real, or as real as he wants it to be: "All this can be yours if you make the right choices." No, Lex! Go for the box! What's in the box? It can't be worse than living with Lana, even if it's empty! Lillian says that all this -- a slow boy waking you up at the asscrack of dawn and generic drugs in the medicine cabinet -- can be Lex's if he makes the right choices. I think it's time you start making some very wrong choices, Lex. Lex looks at her in the mirror. "All of this? What do you mean?" he asks. He starts to ask what she's talking about, but she's gone.
Quick cut to Granville, where Lex lies in the street, presumably bleeding. Lightning flashes. We cut in closer. Yep, he's been shot. There's some thunder, too.
Opening credits. They were going to add the 2006 Ford Fusion, but the car got a first-look deal with NBC and now has a sitcom in development.
I know Judd Apatow is a credited writer, but I really wish Fun With Dick And Jane looked...well, more fun.
Cookies! Boy, some cookies sound really good right now. They're being pulled, on a cookie sheet, from the Kent kitchen oven by MamaKent, sporting her obligatory awful holiday-themed oven mitt. Someone's hand reaches to grab a cookie right off the hot tray, but we know it's not Clark when dumb-ass Bo Duke pulls his scalded hand away in pain. A moment on the lips, Bo. MamaKent tells Bo that it serves him right (see, this is real marriage right here, not Candyland marriage), and that enough politicians have their hands in the cookie jar. All right, only the first half of that remark was good. Bo, with extra floofy hair this week, says he knows MamaKent isn't sold on his running for the Senate, but damn, woman, it's the holl-o-days! "See?" Bo asks, raising his famous bovine cup (seriously, Al and Miles -- I want that fucking cup when the series run ends), which is wrapped in a festive little bow. Oh, Bo Duke. If only you could take care of your family like you take care of that cup. They've all been shot, or possessed by alien diseases, and even your home has been destroyed. But the cup? It doesn't have a chip on it. Bo asks if they could not talk about his Senate run tonight. Then he makes snuggle noises and kisses MamaKent, and she is powerless to resist the hormone he secretes into the air when his ass is composing a fine future platitude. Bo reaches for a gingerbread man while he's kissing her. "Hey, hey, hey!" she cries as he steals from the kitty, as it were. MamaKent calls him a cheater. I don't see any holiday pies around here, so it's not that he's a pumpkin eater.