Cut to the Kent home at night. Wow, when you think about it, that's a big house for broke-ass farmers. I'm surprised they can afford windows. Lois Lane is lying in a comfy-looking bed. Her alarm clock reads "3:02," likely in the AM. Her cell phone is ringing. The ringtone is the Army's own "Reveille." (You know, the song they blast in the morning to get your sorry ass out of the barracks.) Lois -- who is wearing a baby blue eyemask that reads, "Do not disturb" -- wakes up and freaks out that it's 3 AM. Wow, if you think she looks to' up during the day... Lois answers the phone without checking the number to see who's calling. "This had better be good," she mumbles. "Lo, it's me!" says the girl in pink, very far away. "Lucy," Lois says. Wow, those lines between Lois's eyebrows could easily have tripped up those skiers in black back in Switzerland. "Good news, big sis," Lucy says, but she talks so strangely that it's hard to pick up a word she's saying. Thank you, Mr. Closed Captioning. You help a brother out once again. Lucy says she's coming to see Lois in two days. No ride from the airport necessary. Lois tries to talk to Lucy, but Lucy hurriedly gets off the line. She looks scared. Lois hangs up the phone and lies back in bed. She puts her "Do not disturb" mask back on. Hope you've got some Ponce de Leon cream in there, too.
Opening credits. Yeah, I can't believe Jason's lasted this long, either. I think they're just too lazy to kill him off and change the credits.
Kent Farm, daytime. The sunflowers are bloomin'! Good thing that snow only lasted one episode. Snow is for the Swiss, I always say. I say a lot of stupid things, really. The new dog, Shelby, is lying on the floor near the Kent dining room. Wow, he got lazy and stupid really fast, huh? Lois, wearing a yellow printed apron and carrying a huge plate of...something...tells the Kent family that she hopes they're hungry. Bo starts to thank her until he sees what's on the plate. MamaKent, also at the table, offers to help by making some eggs. Lois stops her. She wants to do breakfast herself. Clark pokes around on the plate Lois serves and sees it's filled with mangled, weak pancakes. Can't Clark just whip up some hotcakes with his eyes? Lois says it's the least she can do for the family, since they're letting her stay with them. Clark says he's not hungry; he just wants some O.J. Not the criminal suit, just the civil. Lois makes him sit back down, reminding him if how important breakfast is. Not to harp on this again, but why are they making Erica Durance look so goddamned strung out on this show? She's an attractive woman. She looks good. They make her look like a damn crack fiend with the stringy hair, bad makeup, bad lighting, bad everything. It's like they've given up on trying to make her hot and are now trying to make her seem lovably insane. Shit ain't working, people. Clark shoots Lois a dirty look. Or maybe that's shared disgust. I can't really tell. "Bacon," Lois says, and takes the lid off a pot containing the charred remains of what was once pig flank. Lois admits that she's never going to make it to the Cordon Bleu. The sandwich? (Yes, yes I know. Chef school. Don't send me emails like you did last week for not knowing that there's a third dialect spoken in Shanghai that's not Mandarin or Cantonese. I still think those extras were speaking bullshit gibberish, and nobody's yet proven otherwise.) Lois says she thought that making breakfast would be less of a disaster than helping on the farm. Bo chuckles in agreement. Lois suggests ironing. MamaKent squints at her as if that suggestion struck her deep in the sternum.