Kent home at night. Someone in very pointy shoes is sneaking down the stairs. It's an elf! Oh, it's just Lucy. She could pass for an elf, though. She tiptoes, but makes a noise right as she passes Clark, who's sleeping on the couch. She slips out through the unlocked front door. Clark sits up in his sofa-bed.

The Talon. The pointy-shoed Lucy uses a pick to break in through the front door. Why not try the alley entrance? She rolls an 18 on her lock-pick ability (she has a +3 for all thief skills, plus she's got her +1 from being a chaotic-good elf), so she makes it inside. The dessert case is empty. Sadness. Lucy goes right for the register. She sets up a mirror on the counter facing behind her so she won't get surprised. Smart! She rifles through the drawer and takes out some bills. She suddenly sees Clark's face in the small silver mirror. "I knew you had talents, but I didn't think burglary was one of them," he says. Dude, she's stealing from yo mama! Lucy insists that she was going to pay it back; she says she's not some criminal. Clark's like, "Damn, you sure act like one." Bad Afterschool Special dialogue alert: "Look, Lucy, I just don't get it. I mean, why?" Lucy: "Do you have any idea what it's like to be different from anyone else?" Oh, jeez. Lucy says she was surrounded in school by the richest kids in the world. She didn't want to be an outcast. Here's Clark's dialogue as written for an adult speaking in the '50s: "Well, I'm sure that's a very expensive undertaking. But do you really have to resort to petty theft to fit in?" Who talks like that? My God! Lucy says she maxed out her credit cards. She went to a loan shark. Clark figures it's the creepy guy who was there the other day. Clark asks how much she owes. "Fifty thousand U.S. dollars," she says. But she swears most of it is bogus interest. Clark suggests getting IRONSIDE! involved. Lucy doesn't want to ruin "The General's" perfect image of her. She also doesn't want to get Lois involved. She tells Clark that not everyone has a family like his. She asks him not to tell Lois what's going on. Lucy suggests that she disappear for a while. Clark, feeling stupidly sympathetic, tells her to stick around and keep a low profile. He offers his help. All together now: "Dumb-ass!"