Smallville

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: A | 1 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Para-Lionel Universe

Lois comes through Watchtower's doors already fussing at Tess for messing with her credit, but pulls up short when she sees a big three-dimensional globe projected in the center of the room. A few lights blink on different continents. Tess, at one of the computer stations, is trying unsuccessfully to reach the other team members. Lois is confused, but offers to help in whatever way she can. Tess says she called Lois there to protect her from Clark, which just confuses Lois even more. A shadow flies by the stained glass window. "He found us," Tess says. He crashes through a window in the domed ceiling, landing with such force that Tess and Lois are thrown backwards. "Get up, Tess," he says with quiet menace. When she doesn't instantly obey, he repeats the command with a shout. Lois approaches him, thinking he must be affected by red K. He throws her across the room. Tess drops any pretense of familiarity, telling him he can't stay here. He refuses to go back to Lionel's world. "Give me the box," he says, holding out his hand. She looks defiant. "And if I don't?" "I'll kill you," he says with a friendly smile. [You know, if he doesn't want to go back, all he has to do is stay as far away from the box as possible. - Z]

Back to the darker universe now! Tess searches through Lionel's office and comes upon a book full of Kryptonian factoids that he apparently keeps out in the open. Maybe aliens aren't a big secret here. Tess finds a page about the mirror box and tears it out. She quickly pockets it just as Lionel walks through the door. He calls her his "prodigal daughter" and chides her for turning her back on her family and fortune. She pretends to be there for a visit, but he notices one of his books out of place. "Does this have anything to do with that ill-conceived coup you've been planning?" he asks. She feigns innocence, but he sees through her. He snatches the page from behind her back. She has on an awesome jacket that manages to have ruffles while also looking totally badass. Lionel looks at the page. "Ah, the little Greek tragedy you've been trying to drag your brother into." Doesn't this make you want to watch about ten more episodes about the other Tess and Clark and their weird-hot relationship? It does me. Anyway, Tess professes her love for Clark. This comes as no surprise to Lionel, but he doesn't see how Clark could ever love her back. He accuses her of corrupting him, an accusation she finds particularly rich considering the source. He calls her a "half-bred tramp with a Magdalene complex" which earns him a hard slap right across the face. He summons his guards. "Why couldn't you ever love me the way that you love Clark?" she asks as the guards flank her. "Simply put, sweetheart, you're just not special enough." She smashes a picture of Lionel and young Clark to the floor as the guards grab her. "I hope that your love is enough to save you when he stabs you in the back, you son of a bitch!" They drag her from the room. Man, I hope some version of Tess gets to kill this Lionel. Slowly and painfully.

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Smallville

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