Gah: WB promo with Kristin Kreuk and her signature. The WB frog looks like he's going to purge.

Why is President Palmer trying to sell me insurance?

The shiny new Smallville High School, "Home of the Crows Crows" sign. With a crow on it. Two, even. This sign is all convoluted. Inside, Carn-Evil is shutting his locker without actually touching it. Show-off. Clark, standing right next to him, says, "Nice trick." Carn-Evil asks if Clark has anything better to do than to follow him around. What, you didn't feel a connection? A connection that dare not speak its name in high school? Clark asks if Carn-Evil can control metal objects. Yeah, so? Clark asks if he has some sort of hold over Lana, too. Carn-Evil says that Lana's not made out of metal. Wood, more like. He pats Clark on the bicep and walks on. Clark says he doesn't know how Carn-Evil is doing it, but that he's not going to let Carn-Evil force Lana to be with him. Carn-Evil says he's a persuasive guy, Lana's on the rebound, and Clark blew it. Clark stands in front of him. "She's not into you," he says. Why does Clark care? He really just ought to go back to Metropolis and pick up some honeys there. Carn-Evil says that Lana's all he's ever thought about (must be a limited thought process); he's got her, and that Clark's just going to have to deal with it. Clark warns him to stay away from Lana. Carn-Evil issues a warning retort: he tells Clark to stay away from him and Lana. He says that Clark doesn't know what he's capable of. If he can stand to be around Lana for hours, who knows what crazy powers he's got! Carn-Evil lifts his arms and then swats them down, and every locker in the hallway closes. Carn-Evil walks past Clark.

Medical Center. There's a room inside for medical records. Clark and Chloe are in Room 258, investigating. Chloe sums up Clark's theory about Carn-Evil's magnet powers. Chloe asks what that has to do with Lana. She says that Lana might just think Carn-Evil is really hot. She tries to get Clark to admit that the boy is hot. Clark resists giving in to that reflex. Clark starts to say that they have nothing in common, but Chloe shushes him. Clark finds the file cabinet he's looking for. He says that Carn-Evil has always been around, but that Lana's never noticed him. Chloe says that, except for the past two years, Clark could be describing himself. Clark found the file he's looking for. He finds a handy-dandy chart showing that the electromagnetic activity in Carn-Evil's body is higher after the MRI. If the doctors didn't measure that with the MRI (which Carn-Evil broke), how did they find that out? Chloe says that explains the magnet theory. She asks why the doctors didn't flag it. Clark says they just chalked it up to the accident. Chloe suggests that they go back to the newsroom to look up the effects of electromagnetism on the body. Just then, the file-room door opens. The silver-haired doctor from the MRI incident walks in. Chloe, thinking fast, throws Clark against a wall of files and starts kissing him. She moves Clark's arms onto her. He's totally not into it. The doctor asks what they're doing. "Nothing," Chloe says, smiling. She says they were taking a break from candy-striping. The doctor lectures them about makeout sessions in the file room. The doctor exits. Chloe explains to Clark that a good reporter always thinks on her feet. Clark watches Chloe as she leaves, and tries to straighten himself out. Literally and figuratively. This could be Clark's very first heterosexual erection.