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Omar G: B | Grade It Now!
Papa Don't Screech

Daily Planet. Clark and Chloe get out of an elevator. Clark, as loudly as he can, is telling Chloe about how Papa Luthor's always hanging out at his house, acting like he belongs there. Wow, I'm sure no one on the staff of the major metro newspaper would have any interest in hearing about how the richest man in the state is hanging out with the newest state senator. Chloe, doing a weird caramelized swoop thing with her bangs, says that it sounds like MamaKent invited the wolf to come on in. Arrroooo! Chloe asks Clark whether maybe it's possible that Papa Luthor doesn't know his secret. Wow, that hair is making Chloe look like Frenchy from Grease. Clark says that the things Papa says and the look in his eye make him sure that Papa knows. Chloe says that if that's true, he's probably using MamaKent to get closer to Clark. Devious! It's almost like he has a plan that will somehow benefit him. How very Papa Luthor-like! Clark is really annoyed that Papa Luthor is helping his mother and that she's trusting him more and more. Wait till they start doing it, Clark. That's gonna be a horror show. Chloe tells Clark that MamaKent wouldn't trust Papa so much if she knew the truth. Clark still hasn't told her? What the fuck? He can't even keep it real with his mom? Clark whines that he was going to tell her, but that she's been through so much he didn't want to disturb her. Nice. Clark says that he didn't want to worry her. Chloe says that Clark could be putting her at risk for a lot worse than that. Clark stares at atoms. Stupid atoms. "Stuff is happening!" music plays as we transition to the next scene.

A very ornate chess set. Nice onyx. We hear a door open and close. Behind Lex, we see the blurry figure of Papa Luthor, as he says grandly, "Chess!" Oh, I know a song from it. Check it out: "One night in Bangkok, and the world's your oyster." Papa notes that Lex hasn't played chess in years. Lex sighs, like he's heard this a million times. Could it be true that Lex hasn't played? I thought he'd be an expert. "Why the sudden interest in such a complex game?" Papa Luthor asks. Lex says that a friend has become interested in the finer points. Papa says, deliciously, "I used to dismantle your two-dimensional assaults with alarming regularity, remember?" Ha. I'm not surprised. Papa asks whether Lex shouldn't teach his friend something less complicated, like hangman. "Thanks," Lex says, motioning that he wants back a chess piece Papa Luthor picked up. "I'll stick with chess." Papa says that Lex will lose, as always. Wait until he finds out who Lex is playing. I don't think losing will be a problem. Lex says that he's not playing to win; he's playing to instruct. How to lose! Ooh, chess-board burn! I sank your battle-rook! King me! Lex, wearing an almost-pink light purple shirt, goes to get a drink. "No mercy?" Papa Luthor asks. Lex asks what the hell he's talking about. Papa thinks that it was Lex who pulled the train trick. Papa says that kind of melodrama went out of style with silent movies. I couldn't agree more. "Wait. Someone tried to kill you?" Lex asks. Papa thinks Lex is faking innocence. Lex says that he brought Papa Luthor back to LuthorCorp to help the company, and that profits have never been higher: "Why would I want you dead?" Papa thinks Lex is still mad about the Apex takeover Papa attempted. Lex, taking a drink, says that seeing Papa Luthor fail miserably was retribution enough. Papa has been out-chessed all of a sudden. He decides that Lex must be telling the truth. Papa Luthor tries to get his head together, rubbing his temples. "I may not like you very much, Dad," Lex says, "but you're a valuable asset to LuthorCorp. Killing you would hurt the bottom line." Papa turns, and says wryly, "Your concern is truly touching." Lex comes to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. He says that he is concerned, because a threat against his father is a threat against the company. Papa says that he's been fending off attacks on his life since before Lex was born: "I think I can handle one more." Good luck with that. Papa exits.

Kent kitchen. MamaKent, wearing lovely red business attire, is looking over some papers as Clark walks in. She asks what Clark thinks of something as a closing: "It isn't enough to simply give when we can. Upholding the principles of truth, justice, and the American way isn't a matter of convenience, it's a matter of conscience." Clark mutters, "Sounds like words to live by." Clunk. MamaKent is thrilled that Clark likes it, and hopes the deep pockets at the civil liberties fundraiser will think so, too. Clark has something he wants to talk to her about, but MamaKent asks whether it can wait, because she's got to rush out to Metropolis. "Lionel knows," Clark says simply. That stops her. Clark says that Papa knows his secret. He's not sure how. MamaKent says that she may know. She brings up the tape of security footage showing Clark surviving an explosion and how Papa Luthor was trying to help her out of a blackmail situation. She says that Papa Luthor took care of it, and that he claimed not to be interested in the contents of the video. "And I believed him," she says, bitterly. Clark asks why she didn't tell him this sooner. MamaKent sighs, and says that Clark was still in a lot of pain over Bo Duke's death. She says that she wanted to protect him for a change. MamaKent says that Papa Luthor's going to be at the fundraiser tonight. Clark says that they need to keep from tipping off Papa Luthor and just stick to their regular routine until they know what he wants. He says that's what Bo Duke would have done. Bo Duke would have gone and punched Papa Luthor in the mouth and bellowed a bunch of threats, then gone home and rubbed on the cows for a few hours. MamaKent sighs, and says she'd better get going. Clark offers to go with her. She says that if Clark starts guarding her all the time, Papa will definitely know something's up. "Don't worry," she tells Clark as she gathers her things. "I can handle Lionel." You go, MamaKent! Handle your shit!

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