Stately Luthor Manor. Clark is sitting behind a table covered in miniature soldiers. Lex walks in and says, "Save any lives on your way over?" Cheekbones gives us the biggest, most radiant smile I've seen since this show started. Lex made him blush! "You keep it up, and you can make a career out of it," Lex tells him. 'Bones stands up and shakes hands and says he just came to bring the produce over. Is that what the kids are calling it these days? Cheekbones says he's sorry his parents gave Lex a hard time about it. About what? The produce? What scene was this? Lex says he would have arm-wrestled them for it if push came to shove. If what? Who in the where? I want to see that deleted scene! 'Bones moons over Lex's toy soldier set. Lex says his dad (the wonderful John Glover, who I hope we see next week) gave him the set when he was nine for strategery purposes. "My father equates business with war," Lex says. Him and Tony Soprano. Lex points out that the Battle of Troy began when two men were in love with the same woman: "Kind of like you and the quarterback." 'Bones plays it off, but Lex says that there's only been one battle and Clark can still win Lana. "The whole town treats him like a God," 'Bones complains. "Game over." Lex points out that if Cheekbones had let Jocko die in the truck, his problems would be solved. They exchange a meaningful look. "I'm kidding, of course," Lex says. Yes. Of course. Lex then makes me giggle like a little girl when he says, "Don't worry. I've got your Trojan Horse." So, so glad he said "horse." Lex whips out the black box containing the necklace, and opens it. Cheekbones looks nauseous. "Clark, you okay?" Lex asks. We hear whooshing sounds until Lex closes the box, after staring at Cheekbones for what seems like hours. "That's, uh, a cool box," 'Bones stammers. "What's it made of?" Lex says it's a lead box his mom bought in a casbah in Morocco. Did she rock the Casbah, too? Lex says it was made from the armor of St. George, the patron saint of the Boy Scouts. Okay, hold on. Boy Scouts, love triangles, Trojan Horses, horse gaits, skinny dipping? Could this show be any more sexual without actually having sex in it? Lex says he was given the box before his mom died. He offers it to Cheekbones. "I can't take that," 'Bones says, and walks away really fast, at least for a human. Lex tells 'Bones to give Lana the necklace and explain what happened. "That necklace gives you the power, Clark," Lex says. How positively wicked. Cheekbones holds the box in his hands, but not before Lex gives him one last smoldering look.
Episode Report CardOmar G: C | 542 USERS: C+
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