Pete rages about his jealousy. Hamilton gets up and grabs a fireplace utensil. "Lex, the book," Hamilton calls out. Right. Lex says that if Pete wants to shoot him to go ahead; he's going to the fireplace to get the book. What's the title? The Bonfire of the Vanities? Hamilton takes a whack at Pete's arm, knocking the gun away. Lex goes fire hunting. He throws the book to Hamilton and yells, "Get out!" Pete finds the gun and fires wildly as Hamilton leaves. Poor Joe Morton -- always getting shot at. Pete holds up his firing arm with his other hand and points to gun at our sexy bald anti-hero. "Say goodbye, Lex," Pete says. But no! It's Lex's luvah! "Don't do it!" Clark yells. Pete tells Clark that Lex's dad screwed Pete's dad (gossip!) and that now Lex is trying to screw up Pete and Clark's friendship. He says that the world would be a better place without Lex in it. Perhaps, but this show would suck. Pete also mentions that Hamilton was there. "Is that true?" Clark asks Lex. Lex says that Pete is delusional. And that his pappy never diddled PapaPete. Clark says that Lex was never a true friend and encourages Pete to go apeshit. Clark moves forward. "What are you doing, Clark?" Lex asks. "You can't talk your way out of this one," Clark says. Nope, talking is secondary to The Sexy right now. "This friendship is over," Clark says, grabbing Lex by the lapels and throwing him against the wall. Ow! Pete whoops. "Nice one!" he says. Pete points the gun at Lex. Clark snatches it at superspeed. "How'd you do that?" Pete asks. Clark says not to worry -- he'll get Pete to the hospital. He lightly slaps Pete on the forehead (heh) and Pete goes down for the count. Now that was cool. No special effects necessary. Lex grabs the back of his neck in pain. "Clark, what the hell?" he asks. Funny. Lex asks if the whole bitter Clark thing was an act. Clark says he didn't know what else to do. "Was Hamilton really here?" Clark asks. "What do you think, Clark?" Lex asks. Liar! Liar! Meaningful look exchanged.
Epilogue: Bo at the hospital. He raises a weak hand as Clark is by the bed, head down. "Morning, sleepyhead," Bo says. Crap. It's the return of The Great Platitudiner. Clark hugs him. "What am I doing here?" Bo asks. "Jonathan!" MamaKent yells. She says that the Metropolis doctors found a cure the night before. An old Native-American remedy. Of course! Why didn't we think of that sooner! Clark asks about Pete and Lana. She says they're already up. Well, where the hell are they, then? Apparently, none of them remembers anything because of the fever. "Trust me, it's better that way," Clark says. Yeah, Smallville writers, just keep repeating that mantra. Lex looks on from the background.